When I was in grammar school and high school, I would always go to my best friends' house after school. It was like a tradition, the three of us sitting at the kitchen table talking about our day and eating food. It was always fun and easy, but there were some days where I would just burn out - not physically, but mentally. My friends would always be confused because one day I was fine, but the next I wasn't. Back then, I never really understood it either. These are my best friends, why do I feel so exhausted? As soon as I got home though, I was perfectly fine. I would sit alone in my room and do some dumb thing on my laptop, and suddenly my headaches and exhaustion would just disappear.
The truth is, I love being alone. If you're anything like me, being alone is like recharging for the next social interaction you're about to have, or you're also exhausted by constantly having to build up conversation with people. Maybe you would rather listen to the conversation than contribute to it. Maybe you would rather tweet a joke than tell it to a group of people. If these things are relatable to you, you're probably an introvert too.
Growing up, we're taught to raise our hand and participate in class. Our schools place importance on being extroverted - be talkative, direct others, and join every after school activity you can. And when you don't meet these expectations, your teachers tell your parents, "She's so intelligent, but she just doesn't talk enough" or "I'm worried she's not communicating how she feels". Literally every year of parent teacher conferences, my parents brought back some version of these statements. They place so much importance on being extroverted that it almost seems as if this the only way to be successful in the future. This never alluded me, and I tried so hard to be a more outgoing person, but it was like watching a fish out of water.
I wish I could go back in time and tell that girl sitting in class, praying to God that the teacher won't call on her, that you don't have to be bouncing off the walls to be successful. It's okay to work better on your own, and you can still be likable despite your shyness. It turns out that being an introvert makes you more observant, a better listener, and more likely to think before you act.
I can't change the fact that I am an introvert, and I don't want to change. Sometimes I can be loud and funny and confident, and most of the time I like to keep to myself. The only thing I can do is become more comfortable with this fact, and there's nothing more I want than for other people to be comfortable with this too. So if you know any introverted people, friends or family, don't dismiss them as being rude or disrespectful. And please don't ask them, "why are you so quiet?" - they just are.
I once heard a quote by Susan Cain that reads: "Solitude matters, and for some people, it's the air they breathe". Yes, I am quiet, and yes, I like to be alone. This isn't a choice, but rather a condition. Some things just can't be helped.
