Thank You For Your Compliments But I Don't See Myself As 'Pretty' Just Yet

Thank You For Your Compliments But I Don't See Myself As 'Pretty' Just Yet

My self-image is coming along, but I'm not there yet.

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I've always been one of the girls who try every day when I get ready in the morning. I spend an hour and a half on my makeup, hair, and outfit every day before I leave for classes because I like looking put together. I like feeling like I tried every day even when I don't consciously try too hard because it makes my self-esteem feel much higher than it is on some days. I get compliments all of the time because of how I look and while I always appreciate the kind words people say to me, I'm still working on believing those words, myself.

Self-image is always a work in progress no matter who you are and it takes time before you start to see what the rest of the world sees in you. Everyone has to take the time in their lives to work on themselves before they can see what the world sees. You can be conscious of what the world thinks fo you, but its the work you put into yourself that matters.

It's like this, I've modeled, acted, and done pageants in my lifetime. I know in my brain that there must be aspects of my physical appearance that made me capable enough to do those sort of activities. However, I want to feel pretty on the inside, first, before feeling it on the outside. I want to feel that sort of confidence inside of me before anything else because my opinion is the one that matters the most about myself, not anyone else's.

It took many years of self-discovery and many nights picking apart my body in the mirror before I came to this conclusion about self-esteem and I think it's important for the world to know this, too, that my body is my body and good self-esteem and confidence does not come overnight. It takes years of work on your inner and outer appearance before you start to feel happy with where you are in life. It's all a balancing act and I know that at this point in my life that I am still a work in progress when it comes down to it.

I am thankful for the compliments in my lifetime and me writing this does not mean that I am upset for being complimented. I wanted to write the truth about self-image because I think in our society, anymore we just expect everyone to be the most confident person in the world in their appearance, but instead, we are all a work in progress and need the time for ourselves before we can take what others say about us to heart. I appreciate the body positivity and I am all for hyping people up to help their self-image, but true self-esteem comes from within, and external influences should never play a part in it. You are worth a million bucks, but you have to find that within yourself, first.

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Sorry I'm A Size 00

But I'm not really sorry.
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My whole life I’ve been thin—which is kind of an understatement. Every time I go to the doctor I get the same “you’re underweight” lecture that I’ve heard every year since I was able to form memories. I’ve never really felt insecure about my weight, I love being able to eat everything and not gain a single pound. Since my freshman year of high school I’ve probably only gained 8 pounds and I’m now a sophomore in college. Of course, in school, there were rumors that I was anorexic or bulimic, but everyone who knew me knew that was far from the truth. I’m now 19, 5’2, and I still have yet to break 100 pounds on the scale. It seems that there is a lot of skinny shaming going around and to me, one of the main contributors to that is the Dove Real Beauty campaign.

You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this because skinny girls get all the praise and other body types are neglected. That’s really not true, though. While loving other body types, you are tearing down skinny girls. Why is it okay to do that to skinny girls but not to other body types? Why is it okay to say “only dogs like bones” or say “every body type is beautiful” until you see a model's abs, or ribs, or thigh gap and then tear them down because they’re “unnaturally” skinny?



The point I’m trying to make is that, as a naturally skinny girl, I have never shamed anyone for their body type, yet I go every day and get at least two comments about my weight. I’m always the skinny girl, the toothpick, but I’m not Jessica. Yeah, I’m a size 00. Get over it. If you have an issue with my body and feel like my body is disgusting to you, don’t look at it. I know that I’m healthy and I don’t need your input when my body just naturally burns calories fast. I don’t have an eating disorder and never have. I am real beauty though, and I know that because I’m comfortable in my own skin. So maybe the real issue is that we as a society have been shoving certain body types down our daughters’ throats so they begin to romanticize models that have certain standards that they have to meet, who work hard for the bodies that they have, and are making a hell of a lot more money than most of the people discussing why they look emaciated while what they’re actually looking at is the photoshopped product.

I’m not going to apologize for being skinny when that is just how my body is, I can’t help it. So please, stop tearing my body down while trying to bring your body up. You can praise your body without shaming skinny girls. Shaming me for being thin does not make you better than the man that shamed your body, just as me shaming you for being curvy does not make me better than the man that shamed my body. As women, we need to love each other because we are the only ones who truly understand each other.


Cover Image Credit: Victoria's Secret Untouched

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Today Was A Bad Day, And That's OK

It's the little things that matter the most.

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Today was a bad day.

I had a nightmare last night. It was so vivid and realistic. Some nightmares I can easily forget about, but this one was difficult to push out of my mind. I woke up in cold sweats, my heart was beating fast. I genuinely felt sick to my stomach. I wish I had never dreamt what I had dreamt. The nightmare really messed me up. It was all I had thought about for most of the day.

I couldn't focus on my school work. I definitely couldn't stay focused in class. I had a pop quiz that I was not prepared for, and there was already too much built-up stress from just the past two weeks. I felt like I couldn't go on with the rest of my day. To keep it somewhat short, things just weren't going my way. I was being too hard on myself and my anxiety was through the roof.

As dramatic as it may seem, this nightmare was too personal, too scary, too heartbreaking, and not too far-fetched. Words cannot explain how dark I had felt today. It brought me to a place I thought I had moved on from.

Today was a bad day, and that's okay.

I got a call from my dad and a text from my mom, both encouraging me to move forward and not stress. There was reassurance in my dad's voice and through my mother's words. Words reassuring me they would always be there for me and loved me.

I took a trip to Gino's with my roommates. That burger was hitting, onion rings and all. These were the "perks" of my day, and though they don't seem like a lot, it meant the world to me.

It truly is the little things that can make your day. Like a call from your daddy, a text from your mama, or a trip to one of your favorite burger spots with some friends. The littlest things help you put things into perspective. These little things came to me at a point where I genuinely really needed them.

These little things distracted me from the most terrible and scarring nightmare. These little things are the things that remind me to move forward, ever stronger. These little things are the things that remind me you can turn a bad day into a good day, but only if you allow this.

Today was a bad day and there's no doubt that I will have many more. That's okay, because it's about the little things that really matter.

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