We all have moments when we are just not okay -- an unwanted break-up, an unattainable relationship, or merely stress from school or the workplace. Sometimes, we’ve learned to suck it up, to ignore our feelings and move on to the to-do lists. Other times, these suppressed emotions manifested into our lives and made us completely dysfunctional. Those are the moments when we doubt ourselves, become increasingly anxious about our surroundings, or give up altogether. But pause for a moment and think for yourself, how did it all happen?
That’s right. Unfortunately, it all happened because of you.
You can’t blame the person you meet at the party for not texting you back, you can’t help to see those with more skills and experiences ahead of you, and you certainly can’t predict whether there will be a natural disaster happening tomorrow. Many things in life are simply out of our control, and no matter how hard we tried, sometimes, life just doesn’t go the way we wanted. Now, what do you do?
You can complain, pray, cry, accept or deny; but you could also change it.
This may sound like the cliché saying, “You can’t change what happens around you, but you could change how you deal with it.” There is nothing wrong with the saying, except that we often forget how extremely hard it is for us to deal with it.
How are you supposed to smile and walk away when your year-long relationship ended because he or she is just not the right one? Or be contempt with the fact that you get rejected over and over again on your grad school or job applications?
No!
It’s okay to feel sad, to be vulnerable for a second, but remember to examine yourself and ask those around you for help.
Being more aware of our emotional health, accepting ourselves for who we are, and acting on improvements is the key to achieving the goals that we set for our successes. Life is like the cycle of economic recession, and you can’t avoid the ups and downs within the 10, 20, or 80 years of your life. You need to learn to deal with it.
Dealing with it doesn’t mean ignoring it. The process of learning to deal with it first comes with self-awareness. Spend some time with yourself each day and examine your feelings. Allow yourself to feel, to reason with your feelings, and talk it out with someone you trust. If you don’t want to talk it out, draw it out or write it down.
Because you are who you are, don’t beat yourself up for not being someone else. Dealing with life also requires self-understanding. Analyze your strengths and weaknesses, and work with the people or environment that fits you well. If you can’t see those strengths and weaknesses yet, that’s okay, find them as you go. But don’t be scared to show your muscles, or be restrained by your faults; there is always room for expression and improvements, and it all takes time.
Allow yourself to pause and think, to make decisions and change your mind. Self-acceptance is the vital step to fix the problems around you. Know that "not okay" is a process that will tell you what makes it okay. Trust yourself, listen to those around you, and follow the path of your heart step-by-step. You might need to turn around and start all over again, but allow yourself to do so, and be okay with not being okay all the time.
