We’ve all heard that women are dramatic, petty, materialistic, annoying, exclusive and catty. We’ve all heard the stereotypes, we’ve all bought into the misconceptions. You’ve probably even heard someone say “I’m not like other women.” Or maybe you’ve said it yourself. You were trying to convey that you, unlike most other girls, are not dramatic and petty and so on. You’re different. You’re intelligent, you’re down to earth, you’re laid back. And that’s great, you should be those things. But here’s why differentiating yourself from “other women” is so dangerous.

As a woman, I try my best to steer clear of the stereotypes surrounding the qualities most women possess. We’re said to be stupid and arrogant. We’re either too bossy or we can’t speak our mind. We’re always an extreme. Too much or too little. Don’t listen to her, she doesn’t know what she’s saying. Dumb blonde. Feminazi. Aggressive, bossy, bitch. Our brains are pumped full of these assumptions that all women are a certain way, so we feel the need to clarify to our male friends and family - “I’m not like that. I’m not like other women.”

The problem is in the way we say this. There’s nothing wrong with wanting others to know that you’re a decent person, but there is something very wrong with doing so by throwing all other women under the bus. By saying that you're not like other women, you're leaving space for an assumption to be made about the way other women are. Now, I’m not going to lie. I’ve met a lot of women who possess all of the stereotypical qualities I listed above. But I’ve also met many men who have these same qualities, and “a lot” is not the same as “all.” There is no true statement that can be made about all women except that they all are women. We can’t categorize and assume.

When a woman says, “I’m not like other women,” she is making a statement that all other women are a certain way. This perpetuates sexism in so many ways. It validates hurtful assumptions, the very assumptions that have held women back from reaching their potential. By saying you’re not like other women, you’re saying that other women suck, basically.

Instead, let’s say, “I am proud to be a woman.” Let’s say, “I’m like the strong women in my life. I’m a reflection of the badass women that have raised me to be who I am today.” Let’s say, “I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can say that I am proud of who I am, and the women that I surround myself with are proud of themselves too because they should be.”

We can’t hide from stereotypes and misconceptions, but we can face them head on and take them down. No, you’re not like other women, because it’s no one’s place to tell women what they’re like.