Isn’t it ironic that she was always afraid to say the word forever that when she was finally ready, it was no longer an option?
She was so blinded by her happiness that she stopped looking to see if she was still able to provide the same thing for him. It ended fast, like a band-aid being ripped off.
After she refused to do even the simple things like look at her phone because she knew it wouldn't be his name on the screen. It took a month before the pain really set in and it took what felt like forever for her to see any light at the end of the tunnel she was stumbling down. All she really cared about anymore was holding onto the hope that one day he would show back up saying he made a mistake or even just to say he was sad too. It was hard because she never really considered the fact that it might have been him in the end. Which she knew was unfair but hurt nonetheless.
It mostly just ached when she allowed herself to think about it, therefore, she shut all thoughts of it out as much as possible. The most painful part about it was remembering how it ended. He was standing there but it wasn’t him. The last memory she has of him is a man that she can’t recall ever knowing. Yet the strangest part of it all was that there was no fighting. They always fought. That’s how she knew he meant it.
“To be honest, I wish I was mad at him,” she said. “It would have made everything so much easier.”
When you're growing up people always tell you that when you fall in love it will feel like you can't breathe when you are around that special person, but yet, she always felt like she was breathing best when she was with him.
