"I'm a mess." This has become my catch phrase as of recently; I say it at least five times a day. In fact, I've come to realize that I am the epitome of the stereotypical 20-some-year-old-lost-girl. Everyone knows who I'm talking about. She's the vulnerable, emerging adult that is depicted in many romantic comedies. Rachel from Friends, Rebecca Bloomwood from Confessions of a Shopaholic, and Andy from The Devil Wears Prada are all perfect examples of a lost girl. This girl is really not sure what is going on, has dreams too big for her own good, isn't really good at the whole dating thing, and gets herself into some really unusual situations. This, my lovely friends, is a very accurate description of yours truly. I feel like I relate so well to the Hollywood-depicted-lost-girl because that lost girl is me.
If you ask Drake he'll tell you that every lost girl he knows is over 26 and too afraid to admit it. However, I'm here to tell you that I'm 20 years old and I'm not afraid to admit that I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. Sure, I have a plan and a back up plan and a back up plan for my back up plan, but I don't actually know what I'm doing. I like to think that I have it all figured out and I like to portray to others that I've got my life together but if we're being honest I'm terrified of not knowing what comes next. I have the biggest sense of wanderlust but I also feel like I have to establish myself and my career first. I also kind of just want to forget my degree and open an all day breakfast diner. However, I know that no matter what I do I want to make the world a better place for other people. I don't care how many people that is; I just want to inspire others. Did I mention I have dreams too big for my own good? Anyways, I genuinely have no idea where I'll be in a few years.
Don't even get me started on my dating life. First of all, dating in the 21st century SUCKS. Everything is online, over text, or is a short lived Snapchat streak with some one you barely even know that you met at the bar. I wish that I was joking. This is just not ideal for me and I honestly don't even know the appropriate way to go about it. What happened to face to face conversations over coffee? Why is it wrong to text first? What does "talking" actually mean? I'm 99.9% sure that everyone else has it figured out and I missed the tutorial. Is there something on YouTube that will teach me how to be, I don't know, less awkward? At this point, I think living alone in a big city apartment sounds a lot better than trying to learn the ins and outs of modern dating.
Don't get me wrong, there are some really great things about being a lost girl. It isn't all bad. I don't have to have things figured out right now. I can make mistakes, a lot of really big mistakes, and in the long run I will appreciate them. I also don't have to worry about being tied down or having to plan my future around someone else. I don't have to stick to the rivers and the lakes that I'm used to; I can go chasing waterfalls. I can fuel my wanderlust, establish my career, and open an all day breakfast diner if I want to. Once I get over my fear of not knowing what comes next, I can do anything that I want to. I mean let's be honest, all of the Hollywood depicted lost girls got happy endings, right?
