It's Okay That I'm Invisible, But I'm Working On It
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Student Life

I'm Invisible, But It's OK

Being unseen doesn't have to be forever.

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If you see me on the street, I'm not someone who will go out of my way to say hello. I may look at you, you may see me for a second, but I won't stay in your head. You'll forget me in a second. If we do meet, and maybe you remember my name, the next time we meet you'll most likely pronounce it wrong. How can I blame you? This world has 7 billion people on it. Why would you remember me of all people? I'm generic. Average height, average weight, brown eyes, brown hair, pale skin, plain clothes, quiet voice. I don't stand out. I don't cause trouble. I don't do anything spectacular. I don't act on my thoughts.

This is how strangers see me. A bit hard to swallow at first but it's okay. I'm used to it. I'm aware of it. It's probably up to me to change it, but my shyness has always (and still does) get in the way of me talking to strangers and making myself known. It's easier that way, staying unknown. There's less pressure, less people to let in, less people to be vulnerable with. It's not scary. It's easy. My insecurities and I fight every day. They win sometimes, especially when I'm in a new place that I don't know, and it prevents me from wanting to go out and meet new people.

People have a natural tendency to stick to familiarity. They find their clique, and they stay. I haven't made a new close friend since over a year ago. So, maybe I'm guilty of it too. Lately I've been trying, though. It feels like I get shot down, seen as if I'm not worth another conversation. And of course, I am not going to be the one to start it. It doesn't feel right to force friendships and relationships when it's not necessary.

But when it come to my friends… they see me as something else. The love I have for them fills my whole heart. I strongly believe that it's so important to tell your friends you love them while you still can, so I voice it as much as I possibly can. Part of why I love my friends because they see such good in me: a loud, fast-talking, caring, and intense woman. Strong, dedicated, and hardworking. Protective, passionate, and funny (sometimes).

It took me a long time to see myself like this, to agree with them. When the world doesn't see you, it's up to you to decide how you perceive yourself. Took me 20 years, but I finally understand. You are your one and only motivator. Your support system cannot always be there with you and you have to supplement yourself when they can't be there.

You know what I realized? My goal in life is to make an impact, and to make a difference. I think it came from the fact that I've felt invisible for most of my life. If I wasn't so familiar with this feeling, I wouldn't have such an ambitious goal that I am determined to achieve. Everything in your life, every moment that happens, affects you in ways that doesn't like to show itself until much later. So right now, if you aren't feeling like you're in the right place, you will be. That moment in time is important, you just don't know it right now.

So when I walk down the street, and you don't see me, I'm okay. Maybe one day you'll change the way you see me.

Maybe one day, I'll make it impossible to miss me.

And hopefully, impossible to forget to me.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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