I am enough.

I am who I am and that is enough. Maybe it is not enough for you but it is most certainly enough for me. It wasn't a spur of the moment decision. It has taken me a long time to realize this.

It started when those girls looked at me. Not just any look. It was that look that made me want to crawl inside my shell and hide. It made me feel like I was alone. I don't think they meant to make me feel like that, but you know that look when they are almost emotionless but they have that tiny squint in their eyes... That's the look that I call the 'not' stare. This look made me feel like I was guilty of something. It made me feel like I was not enough. Not enough for their standards. Not enough for them to say hello. Not enough for them to sit with me at dinner. Not enough for anything. I was not enough.

And that killed me inside.

I remember how they looked at me and I don't think I can forget it. And the more I though about it, the more sick it made me. Did I really feel physically sick because of the way they looked at me? Yes I did.

It happened again a few days later. Same group of girls. Same setting and everything. I wanted to hurl.

Then I stopped. I stopped right where I was and realized that I will not let myself feel sick. I will not let myself hurt because of this stare. I don't need people in my life to tell decide if I should be myself. Society today tells us to wear a certain thing, to wear a certain amount of makeup, to place a certain sport. But the only thing I am certain of, is that I am certain that I am me and I can certainly decide these things for myself.

I know I am not the only one who gets this stare. I know I am also guilty of looking at someone else with this stare. We all give and receive this hateful look. I never want to feel the way I did again.

My decision to tell myself that I am enough didn't just start when I began feeling down. It has always been there and it is in everyone from the second they are born, through all the times they are told that they are not enough, up till now. It has just taken me a while to figure out that I am enough and I am the only one who can decide that.

Remind yourself when you cant get out of bed. Remind yourself when you feel that stare. Remind yourself when no one believes in you.

All you have to say is...

I am enough. Who I am is enough. What I do is enough. And what I have is enough. Because I am enough.