I'm always hesitant to publicly discuss my religious views, not because I am unsure of my beliefs or worry about being judged, but because I've never felt the need to share how I feel with anyone other than God. Sure, I'll be open about what I believe in an appropriate conversation, but my relationship with God and Jesus is personal.
Yes, I have a personal relationship with Jesus, I laugh and roll my eyes at Him when something ironically happens. I close my eyes with a big smile and thank Him for times when the world is at it's brightest, I confide in Him, telling Him my worries about my future. I seek comfort in Him when I am scared.
So when I am in a church service and hear that I need to be a "God-fearing Christian," or something along the lines of that, I can't help but snort (talk about an inappropriate time). It's not that I'm laughing at anyone that believes this, it's honestly because it's such a weird concept to me. Fear God? Fear Jesus? But He's my best friend, sure, He's a best friend with almighty power and the ultimate decider for my eternal life behind the golden gates, but that doesn't make Him any less my best friend.
When I think of a God to fear, I imagine a horrifying, unforgiving, unmerciful figure watching over me, waiting for my next mistake to condemn me. When I think of God fearing, I think of cowering in the presence of God and praising Him, not because I want to, but because I have to. I imagine tip-toeing through life as if my world's made of glass.
In the end, would I want that sort of God? Would I want a God that wouldn't understand my flaws and mistakes, a God that makes me live constantly in fear? Not at all. Not only that, but I am completely confident no such scary God exists.
God is my protector, my guidance, my confidant, He is my teacher, my light, my savior. God wants me to be safe, but most importantly, God wants me to know that everything will be okay. To me, God takes away the scary parts of our life, He isn't a part of them.
So, that's that, I'm not a God-fearing Christian, instead, I want to be known as a God-adoring Christian, a faithful Christian, a forgiving Christian, and a selfless Christian.
I know there will be a day when I will get to greet the Lord like an old friend, except even better. When it's my time to journey to the other side of the stars, I will fall to my knees and praise God and all of His glory, not out of fear, but out of love.
God is my best friend.
"No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you." John 15:15
