3 a.m.
It's 3 a.m., and my mind is wandering because my heart is confused. Conflicted. Disconcerted. Dissatisfied. And when my heart is so shaken as it is tonight, nobody sleeps. My mind swims saying, "let's figure it out." My body tosses and turns saying, "just take a walk, I hear pacing helps the brain function."
It's 3 a.m., and the Black Eyed Peas lyric is playing over and over in my mind: What's wrong with the world, mama?
In my nineteen years on this Earth, I've experienced a lot. I've traveled, I've read, I've met all kinds of people from all kinds of places. I've had my heart broken, I've cried over boys and books and lyrics and poems and death and everything in between. I've had to fight for my rights as a woman, a Native American, a college student, an American. I've been discriminated against. I've witnessed millennials doing distasteful things and thought I am ashamed to be a part of this generation. I've seen this world as a hateful, sad, divided place...
This presidential election has divided our amazing country in ways I can't even fathom. Politics have been the topic of discussion on Facebook, in classes, in everyday discussions. Pretty much everywhere you turn there's someone telling you what to believe (or not), what they don't agree with, that you're wrong, et cetera. The media is flooding with stories of President Trump or V.P. Mike Pence or Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos. The whole country is fighting over Planned Parenthood, Public Education, LGBT rights, "The Wall," Pipeline construction, Nordstrom, the list goes on...
It's a little after 3 in the morning, and I'm thinking about all of the bad in this world, all of the things that have made me slowly begin to lose faith in humanity. In my head, I am running through the headlines and the selfishness and the hate that goes on every day in this world.
I won't lie, I've been deeply involved in all of it. Too deeply. I need to take a step back from all of the politics, the headlines, the media. I needed to take a step back and instead watch 100 videos of puppies doing silly things, or a video of a high school basketball team showing outstanding sportsmanship to a boy with Down Syndrome, to read about Adele praising Beyonce at the Grammy's, even though she won the award.
You see, I've experienced a lot during my nineteen years on this Earth. I've cried happy tears over great friendship and wonderfully written dialogue and beautiful poems and new life and everything in between. I've been uplifted as a woman, a Native American, a college student, an American. I've been advocated for. I've witnessed millennials doing wonderful, beautiful, amazing things and thought I am so lucky to be a part of this generation. I've seen this world as a supportive, exciting, united place...
It's a quarter to 4 now, and my heart is working its conflict out.
It is 2017. No one has been alive to see what will happen in 2018, 2019, and so on, but what we do know is that we have more power right now than we ever had up to this point. We have the power to either destroy this beautiful world or save it. I have been looking around at all the bad, and still decided that there is so much good left. Here is my challenge to you all: choose to ignore the bad, and start looking at the good in this world.
Marvel at new inventions, stop to smell the flowers, take pride in the amazing things millennials have brought to this world, appreciate all of the technology previous generations have discovered. Watchdog videos, inspirational videos, read stories of people doing selfless and happy and courageous things and choose to believe that there is still an amazing amount of good in this world.
