Hi, my name is Katie and I am a caffeine addict.

I have been addicted to caffeine for over three years now and I’m far from being the only one. Many people are just as addicted as me, but they just don’t know it. If you’re curious as to whether or not you’re a caffeine crack head in disguise, later on in the article I’ll give you instructions on how to test yourself.

Caffeine addiction has levels and stages, it varies from person to person and can have as many symptoms as any other addiction. I have reached a fairly high level of addiction and for all intents and purposes should be considered a hard core junkie.

When you introduce caffeine into your diet, just like with any other drug, you can usually feel the effects quickly and they are fairly strong. Best example of this is the first time a toddler gets ahold of your mocha coolata and chugs about half before you know what’s going on. Pretty soon they’re bouncing off the walls, floor, ceiling fan, loved ones, and any moving vehicles within their proximity.

But over time with continuous exposure the euphoric feeling of being the energizer bunny starts to fade. Pretty soon that one Pepsi isn’t doing it and you upgrade to a cup of coffee or maybe if you’re really looking for a hit you might try one of those fancy energy drinks that companies say can make you smell what color your neighbor’s walls are from three blocks away! Eventually, though you’re drinking a triple espresso shot straight up just to be able to feel anything.

So if you’re feeling a little weary of caffeine right now I’ll just throw it out there that caffeine comes in so many shapes, sizes, and flavors now that it’s impossible not to come in contact with it at least once in a while. So it’s not surprising that some people go out of their way to keep caffeine out of their diet. And hey if that’s you then I applaud your resolve, but I don’t think we can be friends.

So provided you are not morally opposed to caffeine, or actively avoiding it for health reasons or what have you, you’ve probably had something with caffeine in it within the past week. Just to make things easy for you I’ll give you a nice little list of common sources of caffeine for you to look through. Take note of which ones you consume and how often on average you partake of them.

• Coffee (Decaf still counts ladies and gents!)
• Soda (Not just Pepsi and Mt. Dew. Sunkist, Barqs, and A&W all have caffeine)
• Chocolate (some Hershey’s bars have almost as much caffeine as a can of coke)
• Tea’s (black tea is the strongest but all tea will contain some level of caffeine)
• Ice Cream (if your ice cream has coffee or chocolate then it makes the list)
• Weight Loss Pills (although caffeine does nothing to make you thinner some brands will have more caffeine in one dosage, then 12 cups of coffee!)
• Pain Relievers (especially Excedrin)
• Energy Water (boasts having less sugar but just as much caffeine as a cup of coffee)
• Energy Drinks (can’t forget those)

So now that we’ve gone over the list we can evaluate whether or not you’re a hardcore caffeine addict, or maybe just an occasional fan. If you haven’t had anything on this list in the past seven days then congrats, you’re a unicorn, and you should probably get out more. So now that we’ve eliminated the unicorns and abstainers we are left with the average human beings.

If you only just made the list and you occasionally avail yourself to some milk chocolate, a bowl of coffee ice cream, or a cup of herbal tea, then you are most likely not an addict. Just a social drinker, no support group for you.

Next, we have those of you who have been known to visit at least one item on this list fairly often, maybe even more than one. You are a frequent flyer but not all of you are necessarily addicts. If you reach for it when it’s there and enjoy it when it’s around, whatever “it” is for you, then you’re just an enthusiast, most likely it’s harmless but keep an eye on yourself. Addiction is a slippery slope and you’re on the edge, if you’re not ready for the plunge then I suggest you back up.

If you find yourself seeking out one of the items on this list regularly, or have made a habit out of consuming one of them daily, then I’d like to personally welcome you to the club, we have T-Shirts and everything. That repetition is what makes you an addict, you may not be a junkie just yet, but trust me now that it’s part of your schedule you will be soon if you don’t turn and run.

And finally, there are those of you who knew I was talking to you when you clicked this link. You need your daily fix and have no delusions about why you can’t make past 11:30 without SOMETHING. You may have become desperate enough to try some of the crazy caffeinated products out there like caffeinated beef jerky. It exists, look it up if you don’t believe me.

Once you hit this stage you will eventually make a choice. Either you will realize what you are and go through the nasty withdrawal symptoms in order to detox yourself and never touch caffeine again. Or if you’re like me you get comfy and settle in for the long haul. My schedule in the morning revolves around making sure I get my coffee by a certain time, or else I know without fail I will have a killer headache by 3:30.

If you don’t feel like you fit into any of the categories I just listed but think you might be an addict, then there is an easy way to check. For 10 days cut out all caffeine. If you’re an addict, you’ll start feeling withdrawal symptoms by day 2 (screaming at your cat Mr. Fluffy shouting “GIVE ME COFFEE” before realizing that Mr. Fluffy is actually the mailman, and now you have a restraining order); and start feeling like death by day 4. (Actual death). If you notice no difference in those ten days without caffeine, then you are not addict.

So now that you know where you stand, be that on the edge of addiction or lounging comfortably at rock bottom, you can choose where to go. And if you're me, then the answer is to Dunkin Donuts.