Dear Loved One,
I wish missing you was as easy as it is to remember you. I've been missing you uncontrollably, lately. The problem with this type of missing is that there isn't light at the end of the tunnel. It's not a bad break up that hurts and heals with time. It's an infinite pain that may be covered with emotional scar tissue but can't be filled with happiness nor replaced by another pain. But you see the problem with this type of pain is that I feel guilty for being sad because I know you wouldn't want that. I can see your selfless-self looking down on me scolding me for feeling this way. Reminding me that we will someday be together again.
When you left me I started to truly understand the difference between empathy and sympathy. Neither of which help at all. Because even if they are empathizing, they will never know or understand how much you meant to me. My friends and classmates felt like strangers more than ever. They didn't know how genuine you were. Or how simplistic your happiness was. They didn't know you like I did. I'm ready to except your loss but living without you is a harder fight. I needed a little more time. Miserably, you are a perfect example of “bad things happen to good people." Though it's hard to justify without any answers, I know there must be a reason as to why you were taken when you were.
I never thought the day would come that I would have to miss you forever. Because of this I didn't tell you enough how much you meant to me. I never told you that you were one of my favorite human beings in the entire world. I never told you that your smile could fill an entire room with joy. I never told you that I envied how giving you were. I never told you that I appreciate you. And now I can't tell you that I would do anything to see you here again.
Although it hasn't been easy without you, I do remember all of our incredible memories. Sometimes when I say or do something ridiculous I know that you would either be laughing at me or with me by my side. I can hear your laugh and it brings me peace. While it is a curse but mostly a blessing, I will never forget you as long as I live and perhaps further than that. As much as I miss you, I will always love you more. As much as it hurts that you're gone, our happiness while you were here was much greater. And even though I will never feel your heart beat again, I will be patient, and I'll be seeing you.
With love from below,
Your forever fan
“It's been a long day, without you my friend. I'll tell you all about it when I see you again."
In memory of Richard Wolfe (Papa).
