The other day you asked me, "How are you doing?" And I responded with a smile, "Pretty good."

But I've been wanting to tell you this for quite some time.

I'm not okay.

Far from it actually.

The stresses of everyday college life have taken a toll on me. I take one day at a time. Although, trying to make others' lives better is something I really enjoy doing. The truth is, it isn't enough. I feel I've lost myself.

But I have a perfect poker face. You would never know my struggles by looking at me.

Nothing seems to bother me, but the truth is that some things do. I've neglected you. Not intentionally, but to help me de-stress from all that is going on in my life. I have focused on myself and how I can fix myself. I am sorry for neglecting you. I never want to disappoint you, which is probably why there's tears in my eyes writing this. I am so desperate for you to be happy. I've put others' needs before myself so many times that I'm now drowning in homework and scheduling conflicts.

Time for myself barely lasts long enough for a good night's sleep, self doubt fills my mind and causes restlessness. Sometimes I don't have time to shave because of how busy I am. Some days I throw on clothes and sprint out the door to make it to class on time.

I wear wristbands. Not because I want to, but because they help me breathe when I'm stressed. The texture is soothing and helps relieve some anxiety.

I know I may not be the only person struggling. Know that I don't want any special treatment, we want encouragement. Introverts like myself hate, HATE, being the center of attention. That is the last thing I want.

Please keep doing what you're doing. I appreciate you. You keep me going.

I know college is tough for both of us, but I am here for you if I'm needed.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier.

I didn't want to disappoint you.