Over the past several years, I have broken up friendships with many people that I grew close to. It's part of life, but there's a common factor in 90% of those friendships. I'm calling them the CMF. Chronic Mom Friend.
I would describe a CMF as someone who constantly thinks they know what's good for me more so than I do. Don't get me wrong. A good friend always steers you in the right direction. They call you out when necessary. However, if you're the same age as me and are doing the same things in your life, you should not be dictating how I live my life.
I love people who are nurturing. I am always attracted to them. Somehow this attraction always leads me to friends that end up turning our friendship into a rescue mission. They think they need to lift me out of a hole and shift my life down another path. I have found myself in this position so many times, drowning in self-doubt and insecurities. Instead of nurturing me, these friends end up suffocating me with their values and knowledge. I begin to believe I can't make my own choices. I end up completely dumbed-down and constantly asking my "friend" to make my decisions for me. It's so toxic. I have become the ultimate push-over. I constantly find myself backing down, and it's because I've been so weighted down by so many destructive friendships. I have let girl after girl convince me I don't know myself at all. I second guess everything I do.
As I grow older, I find that I have so much to learn. I don't always make good decisions, and I don't always know what I'm doing. But, still, I know I am perfectly capable of leading a great life that is all my own. My close circle of friends consists of people who guide me but also stand on the sidelines and support me. They are all busy making their own lives work, so they don't need to throw all of their energy into what I'm doing. When I screw up or need advice, they are there with open arms. When I succeed, they cheer me on. But my true friends never, ever make me feel like I can't handle myself. They make me feel strong and independent and equal.
If you find yourself feeling surrounded by people who make you feel below them, please reevaluate your friendships. No girl should ever make you feel like they exceed you. You are not dangling on a string. You are not a puppet. You do you! This is your life!
