I often find myself entering a state of mind that terrifies me. There are times were I go through the motions of everyday life and it all seems so monotonous. Day after day, I have the same schedule, I see the same people, I eat the same foods. I enter a state of mind where I'm simply not present and often don't have time to sit down and realize this. When the realization hits me, it feels like I've run at full force towards a brick wall. I realize that I've been lacking emotion for several days and I sit back in awe of myself; that I could feel this way. I've always been a person to feel everything very deeply. There are times I fear that this state of not being present, this state of being numb, will last for longer than I can control. My mind will start to wander back to what makes me feel present. My mind will take me back to the moment, both big and small that made feel something, whether it was sadness or love or happiness.

The warm feeling in your chest when you get you wake up next your best friend after not seeing them in so long. The taste of your first sip of coffee in the morning. The sunshine you feel when you're outside on an unusually beautiful day. The pure joy you feel when you roll down your windows and blast your favorite songs with your best friends. Your chest pounding and the smile that's practically splitting your face in half when you see your crush or significant other. Yet, there's also the night you cried so hard you wanted to scream and your body felt exhausted from heaving and seemed to have told you, "It's okay. Go to sleep now. You need it." There was the day where nothing seemed to go right and went on a cathartic rampage to release everything that bottled inside you.

Here's what to remember to when feeling this way: you have had moments where you have felt something so deeply it seemed to shape you in some way and you will have that moment again. It is okay to not feel for awhile. It just makes the moment you feel again so much greater. There are days when you might even feel angry at yourself for feeling this way and shame yourself but, you shouldn't. Believe it or not, there will be someone closer than you think in the same mood. This happens and you should let it happen. Let yourself feel the way need to. Your numbness will thaw and you'll feel the warmth of sun like you've never felt it before.