Going to school in an urban setting means many different things—constant sirens from emergency service squadrons, the tick of walking signs, the hustle and bustle of people, bus stops, and inevitably, catcalls. Quite frankly, if I had a dollar for every time that I had been told that I look "real nice," on my way to class, work, or even the gym, I'd probably be able to pay off student loans.
In today's world, catcalling is not a foreign occurrence in the streets. It coincides with the "#NotAllMen" and "#YesAllWomen" movements by way of demonstrating that while not all men catcall, all women have likely been victims regardless.
Many men believe that catcalls are complementary. While nobody objects a compliment every now and then, the streets are simply not the place and usually, it's not the appropriate time either. Although I'm not sure how this idea started, a lot of men think that by whistling at a girl, they will receive attention from her. This absurd idea is easily contradicted by the usual response that most women give the men who catcall them—no response whatsoever.
The concept that women should thank their perpetrators is preposterous. I'm not going to thank a man on the street who validates that I look good, I don't care what he thinks. Women do not go outside for men's entertainment. And never has a girl ever said, "Wow, I really see a future between me and the guy who stopped me on my way to work to tell me that I have a nice ass."
Men think catcalls are flattering because as a society, we don't do enough to teach them otherwise. For some men, catcalling is a way to prove their masculinity. While it may prove your masculinity to other men, all it proves to women is that you have no respect.
To further prove this, I rewrote the popular children's story, "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie" to address catcalling:
"If you give a girl a catcall, she's going to keep walking.
Because when you give him the time of day, he'll probably ask you for your name. When he's learned that, he'll also probably ask you what you’re doing later.
But if you keep walking, he’ll probably get angry. When he gets angry, he may start walking after you. He won’t quit until you acknowledge him.
When you’ve squeaked out a “thank you,” he'll want to continue the conversation. He'll start asking questions. He might get carried away and start talking about your body. He may even end up getting explicit.
When he's run out of empty compliments, he'll probably meander off. You'll have to clutch your purse a little tighter and walk away a bit faster. He'll call after you, wishing you a great rest of the day. He’ll probably mention your outfit. So you’ll want to change your clothes the second you return home.
When he tells you that you look like a model, he'll expect you to smile and thank him profusely. He’ll want you to talk with him and return the favor. You’re expected to thank him for his degradation. And when the exchange is over, he’ll do the same to the next girl that rounds the corner.
Looking at the women as they pass by will make him realize that he's thirsty. So... he'll ask for a “tall glass of you.”
And chances are, if you let him get away with catcalling you like that, he’s going to think it’s OK.”
Because women are staying silent, men are not learning just how degrading catcalling is. That's why next time that a man tells me that I "look real good," I'll have no problem saying, "I know, but I don't need a man to validate my looks." While men think that they are saying complementary things when they catcall women, all I hear is this:
Women are not animals, so stop treating them as such. Because my name is not "Hey baby," and I will never just "give you a smile" on my way to class.
