If there is one thing universally experienced by university students, it is the joy of fast food. Budget friendly and low maintenance, the four years you spend at college make even the staunchest vegan/vegetarian/gluten/free/paleo/raw food/juice cleanse eater consider crossing over into the dark side of deep-fried dining. Some of these easy eateries are frequented so often, they start to take on personalities of their own.
Jack in the Box
Stumbling into your 2 p.m. lecture looking like they just rolled out of bed, the J-Bo student is always ready to go-out. Their Tuesday night/early morning Snapstory puts your Friday night “going out” to shame and they constantly make you question when weekday turn-ups became a thing. If there is a party to be found, they will sniff it out, become its main attraction and then move onto the next social event of the evening. They may not be the classiest person you meet at college, but they have stories to tell, preferably at 3 in the morning over a greasy, bacon-covered burger.
McDonald’s
Everyone has a McDonald’s kid in his or her life. They seem to constantly be living the quintessential university life. They’re involved in on-campus activities and their Facebook always features them doing standard, college-y things, like camping. They’re reliable (except when it comes to having a working soft-serve machine) and, even if you don’t hang out with them all the time, every time you do you are reminded of why you’re friends.
In-N-Out
Everyone loves this kid, and rightly so. They’re the go-to example of a “good person” and somehow manage to be friends with someone from every social circle on campus. They’re probably head of a fraternity or sorority and are on first name basis with all their professors. Outgoing, dependable and surprisingly versatile, they hold court in the cafeteria at a table that features a revolving variety of people just coming over to say hello and, for all their principled-ness, aren’t afraid of spending a Friday night animal-style.
Subway
The Subway student eats a chicken breast with avocado everyday, while you’re chowing down on the pasta bar. They’re always either en-route-to or leaving the gym, and they’re probably the only person you know who actually drinks as much water per day as you’re supposed to. Their closet is sponsored by Nike, and their most exciting investment of the year is a new bulk-container of protein powder.
Dominos
The Dominos scholar is going places. Endearing over-achievers, these students refuse to be pigeon-holed as just one thing (say, just a pizza place), and have branched out to include extra-curricular activities, majors and minors of such a wide variety it would put Domino’s bread bowl offerings to shame. They’re taking 18 units on top of being president of three different clubs and playing on an intra-mural soccer team. The only thing scarier than pages of their planner is their determination to complete their finely-tuned to-do list.
