Your last name is one of the first things to define you your entire life. My parents have been happily married for 25 years so I have my father's last name: Maloney. My full name is actually Katherine Frances Maloney, pretty damn Irish huh? My dad's mother is first generation Italian and his father is full Irish... or so I thought.
My grammy and papa were awesome. They lived right outside of Boston and when I was little we lived in New England and got to see them all the time. Yes that means I was half Italian half Irish and a New Englander. And let me tell you I definitely fit most of the stereotypes: loud and proud. My dad is also the oldest of four, his younger sister and then two even younger brothers who were and are all great Aunts and Uncles. Life was great.
Unfortunately when I was older we moved down South and we didn't get to see everyone as often. But no biggie, I knew that I was still a full blown Maloney and proud of it.
I don't remember exactly when but at some point in high school I found out that my heritage wasn't what I thought. I found out that my dad had actually been adopted by my papa when he married my dad's mom (my grammy) back when my dad was a little kid. My actual blood grandfather had left them. I felt betrayed. I had been lied to my entire life, I wasn't a Maloney, I wasn't half Italian half Irish, I had no idea what I was. I felt like I had no idea who I was anymore. To make matters worse this all came up because I was having health issues. I had found out I had a rare rheumatic disease and we were trying to figure out if any of my relatives had any rheumatic disorders. Well turns out we could only find out if 3/4 of them had any similar conditions. I was mad at my dad, why didn't he ever mention we weren't even real Maloneys?
But then I realized how silly I was being. I wasn't even thinking about how difficult it had been on my dad. His biologically father left them and a few years later his mom remarried and he was adopted by my papa. And Papa was more of a father to my dad then his biologically father would ever be. Maybe my dad hadn't mentioned it because it had been hard. Maybe my dad hadn't mentioned it because it didn't matter anymore; he was a Maloney and I was a Maloney. Papa loved us, just as much as if we were blood because even if biologically we weren't blood it didn't matter. He raised my dad to be an incredible man who has since raised me into an (almost) full grown woman.
I miss my grammy and papa. By the time I found out all this they had both already passed. I hope that they can look down and see that I am still proud to be a Maloney and I always will be. I mean let's be honest I can't imagine growing up with any name other than Katherine Frances Maloney, and I definitely wouldn't want to.
