Where do your ideas of what love is supposed to look like, stem from? Is it by watching those around you, maybe from your parents? There are many types of love, the one I am speaking of is the intimate and romantic kind called “eros”. My ideas of what I hope romantic love to be like come from watching one too many movies. One of my favorites is "10 Things I Hate About You" where Julia Stiles eventually falls for Heath Ledger, but at first, she finds him repulsive. In the movie Ledger dates her because of a bet, but then he falls for her too. The premise of the movie reels me in, I am a sucker for unexpected love stories. I live for them and I love reading them too. I would be lying If I didn’t hope to fall in love with someone I was really good friends with and then we form a romantic relationship. If there is one that thing that I have learned from movies, is that love is unpredictable. If there is one thing I have learned from real life “love” is you should never have to force it.

Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them; the first time.” One of the reasons a lot of relationships may not work out as I have observed thus far is the need to mold the other person. Especially when you really want things to work out, but this is just as harmful to yourself, as it is to the person. This can then lead to behaviors that you let slide, or quieting your intuition. You can begin to make excuses and justifying your actions and theirs as well. You may also find yourself thinking that you need this other person because your imagination doesn’t allow you to see your life without them. The reasons why some people stay in relationships may make a lot of sense at the moment, but in retrospect can make you feel like “love” really blinded you.

Now when it comes to love, and how you want it to be there may be some things you can settle for. One way to know if you are being reasonable with your feelings is to ask a friend for their point of view. There are some things that should be non-negotiable and things that can be fixed. This is where your ideas of love come into play because only you know what you want. When you begin to self-reflect upon what a romantic relationship should look like to you, it can then become much easier to gauge what you’re willing to allow from another person. As we all question what love means to each of us, it can be difficult to find someone who shares the same views as you, but if you find someone does then you are pretty lucky.