Today’s society has false ideas of what love should be, especially young girls. Because of Disney, some believe in fallacies of knights in shining armor, those few who come shield in hand, sword at the ready to win the princess — like she is some sort of prize. Some call for love at first sight. Others? Well, they believe they aren’t enough…and believe that in order to have someone love them in return, they must give all of themselves — until there is nothing left of them to give. Still, others simply want the company and understand no more of how to love someone than to simply befriend them. Those relationships are especially brutal to maintain, mostly because voids are filled with “materialistic” things, like each is attempting to purchase the other’s affections.

And yet, people call all of these things “true love.” Personally, I believe in “real love,” not “true love.” Real love is lasting, whereas true love arrives with previous baggage and limitations, expectations that can neither be filled nor avoided.

How then, thinking of all these things, can we determine what is real vs. what is true?

Well, I believe we have already established what “true love” is. It, in itself, is an idea. Love takes time. There cannot be rules or limitations placed upon it. The simple idea of that removes the idea of love. Love is meant to be unconditional and limitless, not modeled after someone else’s stereotype.

Then what is “real love?”

Real love is patient and kind and honest. It is the bond that stems from time and friendship. That is the love that will stand the passages of time. In my experience, this “true love” is all good and dandy, at least until the going gets tough or things become trying. At that point, everything it stands for dissipates and it fades to near nothing. It was not created to face such things.

“Real love,” on the other hand, was built on so much more. Adversities, trials and distance — all of these things help it to grow, help it to become more and share love abundantly. I believe that the true mark of real love is seeing someone at their worst and still being able to call them beautiful without any regret or hesitation. Real love is unselfish and wants for nothing, unless it betters the two, whereas true love is selfish. Real loves notices, and longs for, the little things — letters, CDs, movie time, sweet texts — the things that evoke a smile, even on the worst of days. It makes the effort, unlike true love, where everything is simply expected. It is sitting up until 3 in the morning on the phone when your significant other is having a mental breakdown and knowing all you can do is listen and tell them you love them and you’ll be there soon. Real love is sending that sweet text or sitting with someone after surgery, even if they sleep for 10 hours and all you can do is kiss their head and help them change the bandages. Real love is letting them fall asleep in your arms and knowing they're the one, even if they are snoring like heck and drooling all over your shirt. It is knowing their likes, their loves, their dislikes…and though distance or trials may make it difficult, it is understood that neither is budging, neither is willing to stop fighting the good fight — and to stay best friends throughout it all.

Have you ever noticed in fairy tales now “true love” movies always come to a close with “the end”? Clearly, whoever thought of that was either an idiot or had never been in love.

Love never ends.

Those whose love will last, whose love will triumph, are the ones that are willing to fight when the future is not clear, when the future is not so pretty. Real love is made of that good stuff, good ol’ fashion will and passion for each other that nothing else can shake. This is the making of a relationship that will endure and last for a lifetime, perhaps even beyond. It touches and affects each soul it touches. When love is honest and real, it is known because it is shown.

Real love thrives.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 — “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”