The thought of having a soulmate evokes a comforting feeling in most of us. It gives us a sense of hope and possibility that the perfect person -one that we can trust and share an emotional connection with- exists and is waiting for us. Given this, it is no surprise that the majority of Americans, 73%, believe in soulmates, according to Marist Poll.
All humans desire companionship and strive to form meaningful relationships. It is an innate behavior, however, where some people set their standards exceedingly high. Despite the relationship advice widely dispersed over the internet, we all have that one friend who is constantly running from one relationship to the next. It seems as if many people share this behavior, immediately looking for another lover after their last, in search of finding 'the one.' This is a common trait amongst soulmate believers -when a disagreement emerges, or things go just the slightest bit wrong, they go running.
The concept of a soulmate can be a disputable subject. According to the Oxford Dictionary, a soulmate is "a person ideally suited to another." However, there are many interpretations of what a soulmate really means. Some believe their soulmate is only one person, and have the idea that once they meet everything will click and fall into place. With seven billion people in this world, people from varying continents, countries, and locations around the globe, what are the actual chances of finding this person? Well, according to a simple calculation -slim to none.
Although believing that there is one distinct person out there for you may give you a whim of purpose and an urge to carry out this quest, it is at the same time detrimental to yourself as you go through life attempting to find your ideal person and ultimately failing to meet this goal. Anyway, by constantly seeking your soulmate while holding the highest of expectations, you are missing out on countless opportunities to engage in a happy and satisfying relationship.
For those already in a relationship, some believe that their current partner is their soulmate. This idea puts immense pressure on your significant other. Expecting them to live up to a flawless reputation is unrealistic and will be disappointing. It is easy to feel like you found your soulmate, especially early on with the rush of the 'feel-good-hormones' such as dopamine and adrenaline, during a period known as the honeymoon phase. Inevitably, this soon wears off and the reality of life kicks in. No relationship is perfect, and everyone has flaws and differing opinions, so it is time to stop your search for that perfect person because there is a multitude of people that can make for an amazing match.
That one quarrel you just had with your partner, or the realization of some annoying trait that just bothers you so much, does not mean this is the end and that you two were not meant for each other after all. Resilience and perseverance are key ingredients in any strong relationship. Rather than being so preoccupied in the concept of a soulmate and finding the utopian relationship you imagined, try adopting an open mindset of the people you connect with, embrace the positive qualities in your connection, and focus on building your relationship, compromising along the way.
