I Am Embarrassed When Anyone Asks For My ID

I Am Embarrassed When Anyone Asks For My ID

My drivers licenses is everything I am not because I have not updated my picture, preferred name and gender.

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While transitioning, I have had several embarrassing encounters while having to present my ID, but sometimes you meet a cool individual that doesn't question your picture ID while you're in front of them.

The other day I was shopping and if anyone has been shopping with me, they know I am very indecisive. One because I am a bargain shopper and love the deals. Two because I can have the most confidence one day but be dysphoric the next. So, shopping with me is hit or miss. But, on this day I met a really cool sales associate. He addressed me as "dude" and "man" and I really liked that. Too, this associate wanted to know what I was looking for and if he could help. And I said sure why not because I had time to kill. Thus, he picked me out some outfits and got me a fitting room. We carried on conversations about work, some life events and just had casual conversation. Throughout this whole process, I finally chose a shirt he had picked and gathered a couple more things before heading to the register to pay.

As I was about to pay, he asked me for my ID because I was paying credit (building the credit early ya know). I was hesitant because throughout our conversations he had known me as Ian and I addressed myself as such, but when handing him the ID I soon felt my face turn slightly pink as I was embarrassed in that I felt like two individuals in that moment. A female on ID and a transgender non-binary individual in person. After giving my ID, the questions continued as he asked if I wanted to sign up for rewards and I said "sure". Thus, he needed my email address which is still connected to my biological name. He started typing and while he was typing he was saying my email address back and before you know it, I had to stop him as he started typing "Aaron" as that is the male way to spell my biological name. Thus, I corrected him to "Erin" and continued with my email address information. From talking to him for an hour in the store as Ian to now giving my information as "Erin" I felt embarrassed. Whether he knew I was transgender or not, I am unsure. But what I do know is I have not had many encounters where the sales associate treated me without the care of what gender I was and that my friends felt amazing. He walked around the register, handed me my bag and dapped me up before walking out the store.

Unlike this day, the looks in regard to my driver's license have been the classic look down, look up, then look back down as the individual proceeds to let me know my ID is in fact me like I didn't already know. The other classic look is the wide eyed, mouth perked, and dumbfounded look on the individuals face as they proceed to examine the change from the picture on the license and the individual in their presence. Finally, the most common response to examining my driver license is the common comment of "oh wow you look different" as if the individual standing in front of their face (me) did not know this already.

My driver's license has not been updated in a year and a few months, thus I expect to get the looks or the occasional comments. While I am not upset about the looks or the comments, I have found myself to be rather embarrassed to present my ID. I do not feel confident when presenting my ID because I have very feminized characteristics in my picture such as the long hair, the slight make-up, and the rounder pre-pubescent face. Today with my more masculinized voice, slight facial hair, and change of name, I find myself awkwardly standing twiddling my thumbs, rarely making eye contact, and thinking about anything but what is going through their head as the ID is examined at the hands of the individual.

Many have asked why I have not changed my drivers license and for starters it's the small fee associated with changing an ID picture. Secondly, I am changed it a year and a few months ago when I moved home after college and I plan on moving again soon. Thus, I am sticking this ID out as I do not want to change my addresses again. Lastly, I do not have the legal paperwork needed to change my name on my license, thus I would have an ID picture that matched me for the time being, but I would still have "Erin" printed on loud and clear. So, to save myself some of the fees I have left my license as it is until I move and get the legal paperwork (who knows when that will be because this is NC).

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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What It Is Really Like Having Sisters Close To Your Age

While having siblings close to your age is pretty amazing, there can be a lot of issues that can come with it.

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I come from a family of 5 people and 1 dog. I have 2 sisters, Grace and Caroline. We are all pretty close in age, Caroline being the youngest and 3 years younger than me.

My sisters and I share a bond like no one else, no one can replicate it. When you have siblings close to your age you have built-in best friends, and since they are around your age you have the same interest, or at least, enough so that you can do things that other siblings cannot. Examples of this would be seeing R-Rated movies and going to the mall without too much complaining, along with being able to shop in the same stores or even share clothes. Grace and I sometimes even split the cost of a shirt we both like.

We even overlap friend groups! Which is not much of a problem for us, Grace and I are both in music programs which overlap enough for us to have the same friends, which is great for when one of us has a sleepover, the other can join in on the fun. Caroline, however, even though she is seen as the sporty one of the 3 of us, she still has a lot of friends who have similar interests as Grace or I, giving us a lot of the same friends. It's nice not to be considered the "cool older sister", I am just like the rest of them.

While we do fight a lot, we make up really quickly, because most issues we have are stupid sibling fights: who gets the T.V., what to have for dinner, what movie to see. But it is always fun because there are 3 of us, which means majority rules, something we tend to go by most of the time depending on the situation.

Having 3 teenagers in the house can be a handful for our parents though, when you have three teenage girls going through puberty at relatively the same time, it can be grueling, especially when you are all on your period at the same time.. (yes, that has happened before) (and yes, it sucks). While I am on the topic, let's say a prayer and a thank you to my dad for dealing with 5 girls (including the dog, obviously) because he does a pretty damn good job at dealing with all of us.

When we were younger, we always had a play date even when one was canceled. We all made up songs and dances and would perform them for our parents. We even had a band called The Halsey Sisters (AKA the female version of The Jonas Brothers) where we had a hit song called "We Got The Heart and Soul". It was a hell of a time. Let's just say the music video for that song is, interesting to say the least.

At the end of the day, I wouldn't switch my sisters for anything in the world, they are my rocks, and I wouldn't want it any other way, Grace, Caroline, keep doing what you're doing, because you're pretty damn awesome.

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