To you I'm sorry for what i did and for what it did to you.

I ruined your chance to try for something that could have been.
We've become best friends again but there's not a time that goes by that i regret what i did and i dwell on the past for what could've been if we didn't go a year without each other in our lives.
I remember running into you many places like the bar, or in passing.

Hearing your name brought up in conversation and the chills it sent down my spine just knowing what i did.

I justified it to myself that you guys weren't dating, so it was 'okay' but it wasn't and its not.
You entrusted me with your hopes, your dreams, your fears and quickly i became one of them.
I became the friend that we had always excluded to ensure that we couldn't be hurt or fucked over.

Fast forward to couple months ago when we were finally pushed together again and now we've become inseparable and it blows my mind that i could even have lived the last year with out you..
We talk about it now you say its okay, don't worry about it; hes slept with lots of my friends as if to make me better.. but that's just you always caring for everyone else even when you don't realize it.

We don't talk about that time in our lives much, as if silence will erase what happened but that's why i'm writing this open letter to you.
I broke your heart, or at least I broke my own heart. I climbed over your tough walls when i became your best friend n tore them down because a heart like yours has to shine not be covered in the darkness.
I remember the times that you felt like you were being drown under water of sadness and you couldn't breathe or bring yourself back to the shore; so i swore from those days on i would be there, i would be that buoy in the ocean that you could hold on to no matter what. No to take away the sadness though if i could i would in a heartbeat but to be a constant, a reminder that there's always someone with you.

I'm so proud to see the woman you've become in this last year; i know you still feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, you feel like you're not where you should be and mainly you feel as if you cant be happy without something about to crash down on you so you try to not hope or dream but you should and here's why..
Your strength, the way your mind works, your bubbling personality even when inside you feel like you cant go on, the way that you have limitless compassion for those around you even people you don't know; though sometimes this is your biggest flaw. You trust and you give until you have nothing, no energy, no time and sometimes there's no one there to help you back up and it hurts so bad that you think about giving up.

But here's my promise to you;
I promise to be a constant in your life
I promise that i will be there, especially during the big moments; your wedding, your kids, your first house, your first everything and this time i'm not leaving or messing up.
I promise to fight for you, i promise to defend you, i promise to help you achieve everything you want and everything you deserve and mainly i promise to never let your light burn out.
You talk about aspiring to be me when you're the biggest inspiration in my life, you're my role model and mainly you're my best friend.
I've wanted to write this since the day we reunited and i was finally able to get the words out.

I love you my twisted sister.