I am not suggesting that you should stop taking your medications abruptly, or at all. I decided to slowly stop taking mine, not just because I felt better, but because I wanted to see how much they influenced my life.
I've always believed that antidepressants were a "miracle pill" in another article I wrote about how I was still depressed while on my medications. Since that article, I have tried to get better. I've found new hobbies, friends, and activities. I let myself enjoy things. While on an antidepressant, you can't rely solely on the pill to make your life better. You must try for yourself.
I've learned that being on an antidepressant can do more harm than good. I sometimes felt completely emotionless. Things that should have bothered me, bothered me, but I couldn't express it. I also noticed that things that definitely should not have bothered me, did. Lots of little things would tip me over the edge and just ruin my day. Sometimes I could cope with it and tell myself that its okay and tomorrow is a new day. But sometimes I just couldn't get past it! It felt like something small could affect my mood for days after the fact!
I also learned that antidepressants won't fix everything. If you want to get better, you have to help yourself. Your medications won't always be there to hold you up when things get too heavy. I personally started doing more self-care things, face masks, yoga, reading, time with friends, things like that. It really helped me find a balance in myself. I didn't rely on my antidepressants to do all of the work! It's important to ground yourself- you need to realize that you are still in control of all your emotions!
This one took a while to grasp, but I learned that all of your emotions are valid, whether you're on an antidepressant or not. If you're feeling upset, angry, moody or anything in between, it's okay and it's normal! At first, I assumed that I shouldn't feel anything but happy on my antidepressant- I was so wrong. You will feel all emotions, whether they're subtle or not. In the first few weeks of taking my antidepressant, I didn't feel anything, then I started noticing my mood was more stable. I wasn't so up and down as I normally was. I did for a while feel my emotions very intensely and the people around me couldn't always understand why. But my feelings were still valid whether they were intense or not.
Stopping my antidepressants was a choice I made for myself, and again, do not recommend you do without talking to your doctor first. There are days I still feel sad, days where I am happy, and days when I feel everything in between.