I Regret Picking My Boyfriend Over The Love Of My Life
Start writing a post
Community

I Regret Picking My Boyfriend Over The Love Of My Life

And it sucks.

8
I Regret Picking My Boyfriend Over The Love Of My Life

About eight years ago, I made a choice I’ve regretted to this day. Most days I don’t think about it too much or can push it aside. But I had a dream so vivid last night that brought every suppressed feeling forward to the point of tears.

So for a little background, I took my first dance class when I was three and fell in love. From then I didn’t stop, I only took more classes and started entering competitions. I danced at a studio where you got a trophy every five years you where there. I was on my way to earning the elusive 15 year trophy not many people have earned. I was 17, beginning my 15th and final year, when I got my first boyfriend. Monday’s where the only day he could hang out after school. Monday’s also happened to be the day of my dance classes. At this point I also had a part time job, so I was only dancing once a week.

I’m not sure how many classes I actually went to, but it wasn’t long before I started skipping them. The year prior has been stressful as there was starting to be drama and attitude issues with my teachers. But I was determined to power through and not them ruin dancing for me because my heart was set on that trophy. Instead, I sent my teacher an email that I wasn’t going to dance anymore. I used the drama as an excuse to my parents since they listened to my cry about it the year before. I was young, dumb and giddy, and the world revolved around my boyfriend.

It was a while before the regret really hit. I had been with my boyfriend for a few years. My mental health issues started to creep up and the regret started. It wasn’t just about the big shiny trophy that would dwarf all my others. I regret that I put in that much time to just quit on a whim. I regret that I picked a boy over something I loved for so long. I regret what I did to my parents. They had spent so much time and money in my dance career, and they didn’t even get that final recital and a chance to see it officially close.

At the time, I didn’t know I’d still be with that boyfriend eight and a half years later. I didn’t know we’d have been living together for years and have two cats. I didn’t know I would’ve survived going to dance and only seeing my boyfriend at school for a few months. I didn’t know this would become my biggest regret because there will never be a chance for me to redo it. I would give anything to go back and stop myself from sending that email and have a second chance to finish what I started. I’d also give anything to not feel like I disappointed my parents. They’ve never said anything, and I was a good kid who didn’t give them much to be upset about. Above all, I think that’s what kills me the most.

I would gladly do everything exactly the same if I got to change how it ended. The long drives, late nights, tears, frustration, pain, the embarrassing moments on stage. All of it, because the ability to finish what I started would’ve been worth it. Would’ve been. Instead I’ll spend the rest of my life full of regrets and what ifs.

I try to use this as a lesson. I try to not live my life with any other regrets. I try to not do anything that would disappoint my parents. I try to use this experience to make me a better person. I also try to look at the butterfly effect of my actions. What if I didn’t spend every Monday of my high school senior year with my boyfriend? Would we have stayed together? Would we have moved in together and had the two wonderful cats that are the lights of my life? I try to look at the bright side to keep myself from being weighed down by a decision from years ago. I do love my boyfriend very much. I love the little life we’ve built with our fur babies and the fact that we’ve been together this long. I love that even when I’m frustrated and angry with him, he’s there whenever I need him and is my absolute best friend. He’s the one I want to spend my life with, I’m thankful to have a partner to experience all my highs and lows with. But I still cant help but feel that the little nagging inside me that says my life would’ve been better if he had been my second love for a while, and stayed with my one true love, dance.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

Where To Find The Best Coffee Drinks In America, According To A Survey

Here's the coffee shop where you should get your morning brew.

324314

Coffee, for billions of people, is one of the only things that can get us out of bed (after hitting snooze a time or two), especially in 2020. Because, if we're being honest, is there anything that beats a quality cup of coffee on those mornings when all we wanted to do is roll over and go back to sleep? The answer is no. And if you're headed to a coffee shop to pick up your caffeinated beverage, you don't want to sleep on the best coffee drinks in America.

According to LiveShopper Sassie's Coffee Project survey, when it comes to chain coffee shops, there are definitely preferred spots you'll want to hit up for your go-to order — whether you order the classic, frozen, or flavored coffee, an espresso, tea, or other. To figure out the hot spots, 1,000 coffee drinkers across the United States took to LiveShopper's mobile app, PrestoShopper, to answer various questions about their coffee drinking habits and preferences. In return, these survey respondents got money back for their coffee — something any user who downloads the app can do as well (yes, even you).

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

The Best Bagel Recipes For Every Personality Type, In Case You Need Another Excuse To Eat Carbs

I'll approve of pasta for breakfast any day, but this is more socially acceptable.

54299
NBC

I've had times in my life at which I've told myself I need to cut out carbs. Those moments last about a minute or two before I start daydreaming about rice and pasta.

Bagels hold a special place in my heart — for many of my college friends and me, a bagel sandwich was the go-to breakfast after a long night of drinking. Years later, I still love to indulge in the occasional carb-filled breakfast. As much as I love putting in an UberEats order from bed, nothing beats the feeling of pulling some fresh-baked bread or pastries out of the oven.

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Survey: Which Issues Are The Most Important To You In The 2020 Election

If you're a first-time voter or voting by mail for the first time, we want to hear your story.

113363

The general election on Tuesday, November 3, 2020, will decide not only the next president of the United States but also which political party controls the House of Representatives and the Senate. Young and first-time voters will play a crucial part in determining the result.

Keep Reading... Show less
Tips

Articles To Write If You're All About Saving More Money, And Waking Up A Little Bit Earlier

Get your day started right — and keep that budget tight.

232429

For all the young professionals, parents, and students out there who've been working, learning, or even teaching remote — 2020 has likely been the longest year of your life. If you didn't know (sorry), we've been locked down for over 200 days now, and chances are, you are ready for it to be OVER.

Keep Reading... Show less

Scrolling through Instagram can get stale after a while, especially if you're constantly refreshing in the hopes of finding something new and exciting. Should you be looking to add some inspiration to your timeline in the form of self-love tips, relationship advice, or love secrets, here are 11 relationship coaches you'll LOVE following.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

How Much Of A Coffee Snob You Are, Based On Where You Live

Your state may determine how picky you are about your coffee.

139260

When it comes to coffee, everyone has different criteria for what goes into their "perfect cup." Some caffeine lovers, though, are extra particular when it comes to their beloved beverage. One survey found that the state you're from (or the one you live in now) may play a part in determining how much of a coffee snob you actually are.

LiveShopper Sassie, the company behind this Coffee Project survey, received input from 1,000 coffee drinkers via their mobile app, PrestoShopper, to ask various questions about their coffee drinking habits and preferences. In return, these survey respondents got money back for their coffee — something any user who downloads the app can do as well (yes, even you).

Keep Reading... Show less

If you are a college freshman, or new to college, this is for you. If you are in a new time in life where you don't know where this change is going to take you, where you might not have your community yet, this is for you. Or even if you are stuck in a rut of everyday life where the new normal is quarantine and isolation, this is also for you.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

As Illinois Reaches Its Highest Death Toll Since June, I Urge You To Stay Home And Wear Your Mask

69 COVID-19 deaths were recorded in a twenty-four-hour period, the highest amount since June of this year.

3671
Photo by Noah on Unsplash

As we are approaching colder weather, we are also approaching a spike in COVID-19 cases throughout the state of Illinois. On October 21, 2020, Illinois recorded its largest daily COVID-19 death toll since June of this year. According to the Illinois Department of Public Health, 69 deaths of people who contracted COVID-19 were recorded within a twenty-four-hour period, raising the state's death toll to 9,345 since the start of the pandemic.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

9 Halloween Role Play Costumes That'll Make Your Partner Want To Jump Your Bones

Whoever thinks dress up is only for Halloween is seriously disturbed.

3674

When "Mean Girls" said "In girl world, Halloween is the one time of the year where you can dress up like a total slut and no one can do or say anything about it," they were damn right. Halloween is the perfect excuse to buy that raunchy costume and show your partner that you're that B. Coming from a very single (yes, very single) 20 something-year-old, I have already got my Halloween costume on lock, and now you will too.

Not only are these 10 Halloween costumes dangerously sexy, but you can wear them in the bedroom whenever you want to give your boo a surprise, yes, year-round. Whoever said you can only dress up on Halloween is seriously disturbed.

Keep Reading... Show less

Ariana Grande released her first single called "positions" since "boyfriend" with Social House and it is a BANGER. This song is absolutely incredible and I am SURE you will agree with me once you listen.

I'm a sucker for a single with a video and that's exactly what we got. Ariana's been pretty quiet during the pandemic, and we all assumed she was working on some new music, and we were right.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

Rejection Of Black Lives Matter Mural By Phoenix City Council Doesn’t Stop Gizette Knight

The Phoenix City Council rejected a proposal for a Black Lives Matter Mural in downtown Phoenix. But Gizette Knight says this is not the end.

2171
Photo by Josh Olalde on Unsplash

Community organizer Gizette Knight, CEO of Reality Dreams LLC, is not giving up on the Phoenix City Council's rejection of the Black Lives Matter mural.

Keep Reading... Show less

For me, chai isn't just what I drink — it's a core part of who I am. Sure, I'll switch it up every now and then with a cup of English Breakfast, Earl Grey, rose, or Darjeeling, but I always come back to chai.

Nearly every tea lover has one tea they repeatedly drink and go back to, whether it's a daily morning ritual or an afternoon pick-me-up. One of my good friends has almost eight cups of jasmine tea every single day — she drinks more tea than water, actually.

Keep Reading... Show less

In a world where physical contact is a liability, the ease of slipping into despair and isolation has never been so tempting. Perhaps the greatest kindness we can lend to one another is reaching out to the people that meant something to us before everything changed. Here's why you should message your friend today.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments