A Letter To My Ex-Best Friend

You were my best friend for eleven years. We grew up together, hit milestones together, and did everything together. We helped each other through our parents' divorces, the struggles of high school, mental health breakdowns, and everything else that was thrown at us. Whenever I needed a pick me up, you were the one I went to.

You were a part of my family. You could walk right into my house and no one would even bat an eye. You fought with my brother the way I did and messed with my parents the way I did. You would even text my sister. Most of my family vacations included you. I got into some huge trouble with you, but we also thrived together.

We helped each other choose outfits. I dragged you along to all my dates because I was way too nervous to go alone. We had so many nights of endless laughter over things that really weren't even funny.

You were my person.

But high school changed things. We began to gravitate towards separate friend groups. No more good morning texts, no more venting about the annoying girl in your first period that had a crush on the same boy as you. I stopped hearing about your boy drama.

And one day it stopped completely.

When we saw each other in the hallways, we pretended we didn't. Our memories faded and became just that; memories. We stopped asking each other's lunch plans and making plans with each other in general. We once knew so much about each other we couldn't even tell where one person started and the other ended. But now we're strangers.

And boy, do I miss you.

A lot of people feel bitterness towards their ex-best friends. Angry at the way things ended. I just feel a longing for the way things once were. Yes, our friendship didn't really end in the most civil way. But that doesn't take away from the years of tears, laughter, family vacations, and countless memories we made.

I don't feel angry at you, I just wish we never lost each other.

I think about you a lot. Whenever I see you in passing or on social media, I think about what things may have been like if we never parted ways. I think about how strong our friendship would have been. And it honestly breaks my heart.

I want you to know I have no hard feelings towards you. I know things will never be the same, but I will cherish our memories forever.

Thank you for being such a huge part of my life.

Thank you for not only helping me grow up but growing up alongside me as well.

Thank you for getting me through the tough times, from my parents' divorce to something as simple as a middle school break up.

Thank you for being my person for my entire childhood. You are the reason I'm here today and I will never forget that.