Why is it that I still think about you? It's something I don't quite understand yet and maybe I never will.
Like most relationships, we had something special, something unlike any other, something dear that I held close to my heart. In some way, I'd like to think I always will hold you close to my heart. You were mine. You were supposed to be my forever.
Some nights, my body tries to cry. Some nights I let it and some nights I don't. I don't know which is the right thing to do, but who knows anything anymore. I wait for you every night and when you don't show, you drift a little further away from me. These empty nights seem endless sometimes, but one thing I do know is that every day that passes, I feel a little better.
I miss your warm embrace. Laying my head on your chest. Waking up to see you. It all felt like a fairy tale. Who knows, maybe it was. Now, I only feel the warmth of my blankets, the comfort of my pillow, and the realization that you are not here.
But this is how it's supposed to be, I suppose.
It's strange, there are some days where I feel your presence around me and I begin to think about you. It even makes my heart start to race. I'd like to believe you are thinking of me too at that moment. I think about you a lot when I look up at the stars on a clear night. It brings me back to those nights we used to have. Just you, me, and your truck, trying to find the perfect place to park. It was peaceful and looking up at the stars on a clear night brings me peace as well.
I have found peace in a lot of things since you left. Things I never thought would bring peace to me. Going cruising on my longboard, picking out flowers to plant, picking up food from Dad's Favorites, and throwing a frisbee with friends. All of these things and more were brought to my attention after you left. I'd like to say I found myself, but that would be a lie. I still have so much more to figure out about myself, but you brought me closer, and for that, I thank you.
I sometimes wish I could see you again. I have so much I want to tell you, but then I think I should just let you live.
So I'll just say goodbye. The nights may seem endless and empty without you here anymore, but like Fleetwood Mac says, "I've always been a storm."
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