The one thing that sucks about love is that you do not get to choose who you fall in love with. You don't get to decide when or why you care for someone. This is why we are scared of love. It comes out in mysterious ways, and in my experience, it comes out at the worst moments.
I fell in love with the wrong person. That's okay. It happens. I fell for someone who started out as a friend. When that friendship became more that is when things became more complicated. Life with this person was so much easier before love came along and knocked it upside down. I fell in love in more wrong ways than right. I fell in love with the person for who they appeared to be and fell out of it because who they revealed to be. This has left me afraid of love and hesitant to find it again.
They say love makes people blind, but in reality, it makes us see the truth. My love started off as a friendship; both platonic and casual in the beginning. Our friendship was based on our love of Netflix series and rocky road. We spent more time talking over some Starbucks teas than anything else. Before we knew it this newfound friendship turned into something else.
After deciding I loved this person I began to see the little truths that the friendship hid. As a friend, he was entertaining, he was joyful, and he always got me with his sense of humor. But love showed me that this person was selfish, narcissistic, and aggressive. Love opens us up to another person, and in return, they open up to us. Most of the time this is a good thing, but in my case, it wasn't.
Loving the wrong person made me question the whole idea of love in the first place. What does love even mean? We say we love things, people, and many other things, but what does it really mean? What happens when we realize that love is gone?
Like a lot of things in life, love fades and changes over time. The person I loved is exactly that. Someone that I loved. Past-tense. When I realized how wrong this person was for me, no matter how much I loved or thought I loved, it faded. Love doesn't go away overnight, and even if it fades it never truly goes away.
As soon as you admit that you love someone, that love is permanent. It becomes a part of how you feel about that person for as long as you live. Even that person is the wrong person, it does not make you love them any less.
This article is not to bash on a person I used to love, or even to call them a terrible person. It is to show that we often fall in love with the wrong people. Most of the people we fall for are not going to be the right person for us. When it comes to love and relationship our hearts lead the way. It takes a while for our heads to catch up. We learn more from loving the wrong person than loving the right person. The wrong person shows us what we want and how we want to be loved.
So, go ahead! Love wrong. Love wrong. Because the only way to find the right path is to go through the wrong ones.
