"You can trust me!"

The common phrase that every guy begins to tell you about a month or so into talking. This phrase can make you feel safe and secure or it can create more reason for you to stay quiet. This phrase is something that we all see and begin to fear the future and what good or bad can come of it.

For me, it often creates a reason to stay quieter. I open up and it doesn't work. I don't open up and it doesn't work. Constantly dealing with errors on both sides of the coin and I still know one thing.

I am not sorry for guarding myself. I am not sorry for the boundaries I set. It keeps me safe and it keeps me feeling like I didn't lose the entirety of myself in a situation. An idea that I used to struggle with for a long time.

We often feel that we need to be candid and transparent with people, to be honest about our narratives. Honest about our lives to show that we understand concepts more than some would expect.

We think that in sharing we may be able to relate to a certain struggle that the other person has gone through.

Then we open up and share, then we end up alone time and time again. So I, like many others find ourselves at the opposite end of the spectrum. This end of the spectrum is where we stay quiet and merely are the listener.

The listener that gives advice but never completely shares their story. This is how we might feel a sense of safety and security in what is happening.

We might want this potential significant other to stick around so we fear that if we share more, they will run away due to the fact we as people might be "too much" or "overwhelming" with all we have to share.

Here are my two cents. Love how you want to love. Share your stories, share your pain but do not lose yourself in the idea of letting someone in. It will happen when it is meant to happen.