I think there are so many opportunities to write about meaningful topics and get the word out through these articles. Personally, I see it as a way to help others connect because they can relate to my stories. I want to talk to you guys about relationships. Messing up, the good and the bad, family relationships and romantic relationships. But my own personal swing on the story is to tell you what I've been through because of my personality. I wanted to be independent and strong, but sometimes that is too much to deal with for someone trying to get to know you. Independent by definition is not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence. Well, sometimes it's okay to depend on someone because as humans we cannot handle everything. So here's my story.

Let's go back to the beginning. At an early, my parents separated and my father moved away from my family and I. I was always blessed as a kid, I honestly cannot complain about a thing, I felt as though I got everything that I ever wanted whether it was tangible or not. When my mom was on her own, I saw my first example of independence. Without a college degree, or a part time job to fall back on, my mother supported two kids. To this day I envy that mentality. I decided from that moment on that I would strive to be the best I could be, for me.

I learned independence doesn't have to be about being selfish. You do what you have to do to support yourself without stepping on other's toes. All throughout high school I had a handful of boyfriends, but none that really struck me as the one. I started to notice a pattern in my relationships. I would seek out friends, someone to vent to, text, or talk to at lunch, and when I would start to get to know them more I would start to develop a crush on their personality. I have always been that person that is more invested in the internal structure of someone. The problem with that, is that some people don't always show you the real them. After a few burns, I found myself wanting to be more independent to protect myself and my feelings.

Now I'm in college; the big leagues. Freshman year was a blur of parties, meeting random people, and making real friends. That saying "the nights we won't remember, with people we won't forget" is very true. Sometimes the moment slips away from you, but some friends never do. Going out with my girlfriends almost every weekend became something to look forward to. We would all get ready for an hour in hopes of finding someone worth being more than friends with. I started sending my mom those "I think I found my husband texts" every other weekend, and we would laugh about how many of them were never worth the time later on. It became apparent that the one probably wouldn't be at one of these crazy parties with loud music where we would barely have a meaningful conversation.

I am presently a sophomore, and tonight I think I learned the hardest lesson; we have to know ourselves before we can let someone else try to figure us out. Here I am, nineteen years old and I can honestly say I am still trying to figure out who I am and what I want in life. It's funny how everything seems so simple in your head. You go to college, meet your bridesmaids, find the love of your life, settle down and make a family some day. And that has been the dream of mine for years and years, but I look back on my life and realize that I am so independent sometimes that it has almost held me back from the right relationships. I put my dream of a family aside for the time being to go to school and get a degree in nursing, something I have always had a passion for. I have had a handful of really close friendships that could have kindled into something more, yet I always put school or something else in front of it. Tonight in particular, I let another one who could have been the one walk away because I was too afraid of change. Though I haven't completely put my personal puzzle pieces together, I have managed to assemble parts. I am scared of change because change means something could go wrong, and I may not be alone anymore. I might have someone to depend on after all, someone to trust, that's scary after all the time my trust has been broken before. If he happens to read this, I hope he knows I think I can handle it now. I just needed to see that something's are worth the sacrifice.

My whole reason for this article is to say that it takes the right man to handle you, whatever your personality may be. Mine in particular is independent. I'm not even necessarily ashamed of it because I believe that it takes a strong woman to love a strong woman. It's a message to all girls who are hindered in their love life. You know who you are, lonely and deep down in the dumps about not finding the right one. Whatever your characteristics are, you are beautiful inside and out for being who you really are. That takes courage, courage that someone someday is going to appreciate. I like to keep a fortune pinned at my desk that gives me hope that I will find the right one one day. For now, let's just keep our nose in the books and hope that one day he catches us off guard. Keep your head up ladies, our strong men are at there.