If you have not watched the video, GO WATCH IT NOW.
A synopsis of this video would say, "Exes confront each other and discuss infidelity in their past relationship ". Simple enough, right? So why has this video gotten almost 2 million views on Youtube, over 200,000 retweets on Twitter and has been featured on most major news outlets? What is the world's fascination with "HurtBae"?
Besides being absolutely beautiful, the girl in the video, named Kourtney Jorge, can be found doing what most women have little courage to do: get to the source of something hurting her. Most people would just go on with life carrying around the hurt they felt from being in a serious relationship that didn't go as planned. However, she does the exact opposite. For that alone, this video is a must-watch. Another thing Jorge displays that is remarkable is the honesty with herself and her ex-boyfriend, Leonard Long III. She bears her soul in a heartbreaking way to an almost seemingly unremorseful Long. Even though he clearly broke her heart, she still wants him in her life. But why?
I know this feeling: still wanting someone in your life after they break you down. It's a major side effect of being in a relationship that ends in infidelity. You see people rocked by cheating, especially to the extent Long suffered, are robbed of something vital when exiting a relationship: closure. This lack of closure often causes people to question themselves at the end of a relationship. This is also something I have experienced. You sit contemplating where you went wrong or where you could have done better and before you know it, you're crying for someone to take you back when you only did one thing wrong in the first place.
What was that "one thing" she, and countless other women, did wrong and continue to do wrong you ask? She loved the wrong person. How could she have known he was the wrong person? She couldn't have. No one does. However, the minute she figured out he had cheated or he might have been cheating, she should have left.
I've been guilty of this myself: staying when I should have gone. It's a plague that people have to want to fix everything. I personally had to learn that some things cannot be resurrected. Sometimes, things have to end. And that's okay, that is life.
If I had one word of advice for #HurtBae it would be that she doesn't need to forgive Long. He will never truly value her forgiveness. You can tell by their conversation that he didn't even think he was deserving of the relationship, which is probably why he cheated so much. The person she, and all people in this situation, need to forgive is themselves. We, as people, need to stop searching for love, forgiveness, and happiness in other people. The minute we learn to search for these things in ourselves is the minute we stop giving people the opportunity to hurt us.
In the last few moments of the video, Long can be seen asking Jorge, "Why do you forgive me?" Jorge replies, "You were my best friend." I believe it's time we start becoming our own best friends and let go of the "Hurt" in #HurtBae and in all of us.
