I really don’t want to talk about politics anymore.
I don’t want to talk about Obama and what he’s done. I don’t want to talk about Hillary or Bernie. And I really don’t want to talk about Trump.
I’m tired of opposing sides and this tug-of-war game where someone is always the loser. I’m not suggesting anyone gives up fighting for their beliefs and loosens the grip on their side of the rope. I really am so proud to live in a country where everyone has such integrity for fighting for what’s right. No matter what side you’re on, the dedication bleeds through.
But I’m still tired. This tug-of-war game really isn’t fun right now, and I for one would like to take a break. I was thinking a week long getaway to an island in the Caribbean, but apparently, I don’t make enough at my college-student job to take the whole country on such a trip.
So here’s what I can offer.
I love jokes. Everyone loves jokes. Republicans love jokes, Democrats love jokes, and everyone in between loves jokes. And if you think you don’t love jokes, you just haven’t heard the right joke yet. Let me see if I can help.
I have compiled some of my all-time favorite jokes in hopes to remind America that there is more to life than a presidential inauguration. I know that sounds pretty naive, but really. I don’t want to diminish the intensity of what the future might hold, however, the future could also potentially be really okay. Like your immediate future, when you read these jokes. Future you is loving them.
(Credit for most of these jokes go to my dad, Greg Fean. I'm not sure where he found them, but he never fails to make me laugh with them, so I'm just passing them on.)
1. What do you call a bunch of birds that stick together?
Vel-crows!
2. A duck, a skunk, and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn’t have a scent and the deer didn’t have a buck, so they put the meal on the duck’s bill!
3. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
4. What did Cinderella say as she was leaving the photo store?
Someday, my prince will come!
5. Why did Mickey Mouse travel to space?
He wanted to find Pluto!
6. Have you heard about that new broom?
It’s really sweeping the nation!
7. What kind of dog loves to take bubble baths?
Shampoodles!
8. What do you call a cow that plays the piano?
A moo-sician!
9. Last night, I was lying in my bed, gazing at the stars, thinking...
Where’s my roof?!
10. What do you call a sketchy Italian city?
A spaghetto!
