Dear Humans,
I sense a cat-astrophe in our midst; cats are not receiving enough credit for being the lovable, sweet and adorable creatures we are. Often, we are misunderstood to be a scheming and "lone-rider" type of species, simply because we do not meet the daunting expectations that humans place upon us. However, as a strong and independent Tabby, I have a few things to clarify with the human species.
We love our independence
Ah, those hours we spend in the darkest corners of the house and in all of the spaces that didn’t seem physically possible to fit in. We love it. It's our time to rethink all of the things that I need to destroy for the day, and anticipate the hours I have until my next meal. If we are hiding from you, chances are we don’t want to be with you. Grow up, and give us some space. Humans can be so needy and sometimes we just need a meowment to ourselves.
I am very capable of cleaning myself
Sometimes humans forget that we have this thing in our mouths called a tongue. They chase us around the house with their sausage claws and try to throw us in these above ground bowls filled with foamy water and scrub us like we are dogs. So don't get upset with me when I hiss or give you any cattitude, but how does it feel to be thrown in a sea of unknown substance with the intention of being "cleaned?" I'm already cleaner than you ever will be.
What is with the walking string?
I'm not sure about the experiences of other felines out there, but back in my kitten days, I was rudely awakened by my human in the early afternoon with a strange string. Next thing I knew, I was plopped onto the sidewalk next to the dog and forced to walk in directions I had no interests in attending to. Must I clarify again humans? I am a cat, just let me sleep in peace.
Humans are never on time
You've got to be kitten me, it's really not that hard. Cats live on a schedule. As a matter of fact, I am an avid user of my planner and never cease to update it in my free time. I am a busy cat with a lot of responsibility around this house. That is why we expect our food to be put out at precisely the same time every day. So be a responsible human and arrive 10 to 15 minutes before my feeding time.
Humans expect for us to act like a "low maintenance" dog
This is an extremely sensitive topic for me to meow about, not only because it affects me on a daily basis, but also because I am aware of the emotional strain it puts on much of my fellow felines. When visitors come over, I often hear them complain about how they aren't "a cat person because cats are so mean and not friendly like dogs."
Pfft. You don't know me! Why do you expect me come out of my hiding spot to pant and greet you? Who are you to me? If humans preach on the daily about not comparing people, then why are they comparing cats to dogs? Come on meow, it really hurts our feelings.
I feel that this pre-conceived notion that cats are this unfriendly and scowling species needs to be changed. I am speaking out on behalf of my furry felines about the injustice we face on a daily basis. Every cat has a unique personality and deserves to be love to a human's full capacity. Accept us for who we are. We are cats, we are beautiful, and we should probably run for president.
#CATS2016
