I started dating my girlfriend when I was a junior in high school. As much as I felt the instant connection, and as much as I felt like we were meant to be, I couldn’t seem to quiet everyone telling me that it was doomed from the start. They didn’t discourage us because we were a bad couple or lacked chemistry, but rather because of the simple fact that our relationship started in high school. High school, also known as the dark pit of heartbreak and short-term relationships, has claimed many of relationships that start out with the same exact feeling of “oh my goodness they are the only one for me and if we break up I’ll just crumble into a never-ending sorrow”, only to end with the beginning of a new relationship the next week. But, as I attend my third semester of college, I can proudly say that I have been dating my girlfriend for nearly 3 years. We stuck together through the trials laced with the burning fires of peer pressure, and somehow survived high school. So, to those who want to know how we did it, I thought I would put something together.
I met Elise when I was in 8th grade, in front of my Language Arts classroom. There was no immediate binding together by the forces of holy matrimony, but rather a friendly hello and the start of a friendship. If I could attribute our high school survival to one thing, it would be that we started out as friends first. I know the fear of being friend zoned, as it is not always avoidable, but there is no better way to get to know someone than when you aren’t worried about impressing them. There wasn’t ever really a facade between Elise and I; I knew almost everything about her and I trusted her more than anyone.
Of course, as we all know, high school likes to take friendships in and spit them back out. The big fight came, where I had developed feelings and couldn’t keep them in anymore (even though she had a boyfriend), and our friendship ended in a not-so-cordial way. Oh the horrid things we did, such as *gasp* unfriending on Facebook AND unfollowing on Twitter! I know, how could I bounce back from these horrible acts? The crazy thing is, I’m glad we had this fight. Why, how could I say such a thing? For one, with the ending of the friendship came the ending of the friend-zone, opening the door for me to later enter in a different light. Second, it taught us that we had the ability to bounce back from fights or conflicts.
So now when we finally start talking again, feelings spark, we start dating. Normally in my relationships, I’m putting up a wall to convince her to like me even more, while I’m still panicking trying to learn out who she even is. But with Elise, it was different because WE WERE FRIENDS ALREADY. We not only were able to become just as good of friends as before, but we were able to grow from that romantically and reach a whole new level of trust and admiration towards each other. She was everything I wanted, I planned out my entire future with her. But unfortunately, I realized all too soon that the odds were stacked against us. If I had a dollar for every time I heard “You two don’t stand a chance in the real world, just give up”, I’d take all of them out to a nice brunch on the beach and pay a pilot to fly a message in the clear blue sky, saying “You Were Wrong”, and then doves would fly from my jacket as I walk away like Iron Man from an explosion of I Told You So. Sorry, it just happened a lot.
Don’t worry, your long wait has come to an end. You have been reading patiently in hopes of actually finding solid advice on how to get through high school with your loved one. Well, after my story time, this is all I have to say about it. I didn’t give up. Every time we fought, and it seemed like there was no way to get through, I held on to my dream of someday marrying her. In fights, you tend to forget all the positives and rather just have a novel encrypted in your mind of all the negatives. Even when you’re upset, think about the good parts and why you’ve gotten this far. I always had to figure out what was worth it- her, or the temporary end of my troubles. Every time I made the decision to stick with her, the fight eventually resolved and I would be so thankful that I waited to see it through.
Short answer? Don’t give up, and be friends first. Of course, everyone is different with different situations and different goals. Sometimes your partner has a secret deck of cards in their sleeves and aren’t in it for the long haul. But if they truly want it, and you truly want it, then you just have to keep your eyes on the prize and synchronize! I wish you the best of luck, just make sure you are happy in the end.
