Everyone has been in their share of arguments or disagreements. Arguing has never been my choice of resolution but it works for the people I have met throughout my life. I seem to attract the “arguing type,” which is weird because as previously stated I don't like to argue. The “arguing type,” that I attract, are the ones who obviously like to argue. Yet, their main goal in arguing is to prove that they are right; they do not care about resolution. For instance, if I am wrong (not always) and an “arguing type” friend/person just wants to prove they are right, have we really made any progress? We are flawed humans bound to end up in a disagreement with one another. Although if we have any plans to evolve as people should we not work towards a progressive resolution than a right or wrong.
There has been a particular characteristic of the people I keep attracting when it comes to the “arguing type.” They are usually somebody I am close with or really like and they fall under a certain zodiac sign. I must admit that there have been occasions where I was the one at fault BUT it takes two to tango. People can only get away with what you let them get away with. Do not be mad at someone for their harsh towards you because it probably has not been their first time. If you say something, SPEAK UP, when it first occurs, you are less likely to get the same result. Since you did not speak up the first, second or third time, you can only blame yourself for the outcome.
Next time you get into an argument, note to yourself your end result. If the goal is to actually continue, build and strengthen the relationship, then I would watch you say. No matter how mad we get or unreasonable due to our anger, remember everyone experiences anger. Taste your words before you spit them out.
Unfortunately, I have found myself at war with what I should have said or should not have said. My first instinct is to avoid all or any argument or confrontation at all cost but we all know it cannot always be that simple. The “fight or flight” instinct we are all born with can really mess things up for me. My first instinct is to end all communication, forever. Then when I do decide to speak it does not always work in my favor. I have said some things that may not have been the best thing to say at the moment. I find myself not regretting what I said because I wanted them to experience the same hurt I felt. I would make “low blows” in an effort to compensate for my hurt. My belief is stick and stones can break my bones and words can kill me. I mean it is how you say it rather than not what you say. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship, right?
