My inspiration for writing about this topic is a quote I saw on social media that really stuck with me: “One of the hardest things you will ever have to do my dear is to grieve the loss of a person who is still alive”. Whether you have had “friends” that have used you to get what they want, talked about you behind your back, or have completely faked a relationship we have all felt the sting of losing someone we truly considered to be our friend.
Take this from someone who has dealt with this more times than she can count. Back in the high school days with hormones raging, I thought that I had found my forever friends. The ones that I could lean on and trust with anything. Turns out, that people's truest intentions are not realized until the damage is done. Now I don't want to be the voice of doom either saying that great people can’t come from your past and remain amazing (shoutout to my wife and strawberry).
But I’m pretty sure we all know the relationships that are not positive as time goes on. As every person moves on from a major event in their lives, they change. We also change. Our personalities, our morals, our views of what is right and wrong. We develop stronger feelings on more important issues and we learn to grow from them. This all changes your character and perception. Easy enough. But when you have someone in your life that is so miserable, immature and hasn't changed from an inconsiderate adolescent it can be hard to admit that we no longer have the same connection. Just as you grow, you also outgrow people. It is so hard for me to end a friendship even if the person has been terrible to me. I always fall back on the memories that I have had with a person and in my mind I sometimes can’t rationalize saying goodbye to someone. I always feel that things will work out, and will fix themselves. Yet the older I get I realize that isn't the case. Negative people will never walk away from you. They can’t. They feed off your sunshine and uniqueness. They will make snide comments, try to put you down and never tell you your true potential. Why? Because those kinds of people never want you to realize how amazing you are. They never want you to recognize how much better your life would be without them.
My advice to you is something I wish I would have listened to sooner. Remember that you are so much better than this relationship. You don’t need them in your life. If you are transitioning from high school to college or from grammar school to high school and you feel the need to keep negative people in you life out of necessity DON’T. It is better to be alone than to be brought down by a negative person. Give it time and true friends will come. It may be hard for you now but in the long run, it is so worth it.
