Most people aren't that good with words. I'm not either, but I'm working on it, and I think I figured out a way that we can all improve on our adjective use together.
We've all had that moment when someone says something like "You look beautiful today!" and you're just there like "Oh so I don't look beautiful every day? Just today? You jerk". In my opinion, if you're going to say something like that which is a universally positive statement, you have permission to say "You are so beautiful" instead of "You look beautiful today". The reason I point this out is because while you may think these small changes don't make a difference, you are wrong. I'm sorry you had to find out this way.
The problem is that usually people make these bold statements of "You are this" and the "this" is not obviously overwhelmingly positive. What you end up doing is reducing people to a single adjective that is based on no more than your first impression. This may not necessarily be intentional, in fact it probably isn't. But when you do this you are solidifying your first impression to a point where you may always associate that person with whatever adjective you used to describe them before you actually knew them. In addition, you have just given that person either an expectation to live up to what you think of them or a barrier that they must now climb over to show you who they really are.
This occurrence, therefore, is detrimental to both parties involved. Your ability to see the whole picture is now hurt, and the other person's job to show you the picture is harder. In reality the adjectives that are available to us are nowhere near numerous or specific enough to describe who someone is.
So the next time that you want to wrap up the sum of someone's feelings, experiences, thoughts, failures, and successes into a single word, maybe just don't. Try to avoid describing people for a while, even if it's just to yourself. Instead of making a conclusion of initial observations, try to get to know the person better. Ask them questions and explore who they are. If you find yourself defining them by a single quality, see if you can figure out why that might stick out to you, or what other qualities the person could have that may have affected that aspect of them. Keep in mind an adjective that people use to describe you that may be true but is also a horribly binding generalization that does not even begin to describe who you are.
People really are awesome and beautiful and complicated. Don't let your words make them any less.
