“Don’t talk to friends about religion or politics.”

It’s advice we’ve all heard, but as we get closer to this year’s election, people seem to ignore it more and more. I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing, either. Since voting is the single most important action we can take in our republic, it is important that people educate themselves on issues and have a solid opinion. However, I think that this piece of advice, not to talk politics with people you care about, has come about because passions are high in the political sphere.Everyone has their own unique perspective that brands their philosophy on all aspects of life, not just politics. These perspectives shape our understanding of the world, what we know (or think) to be true, and ultimately how we interact with others. So, when every issue that comes up in today’s world seems to have two distinct perspectives on the matter, it’s no wonder that there is always tension between the two political party camps. Both sides are equally true to the people who believe in them, and the opposite point of view always seems ridiculous. We are passionate about our belief systems, because they define us. Debate brings out the worst in people at times, because being told your perspective is wrong feels like an attack on you.

So how do we talk about these kind of things without wanting to cut the other person’s tongue out? The first, cliché answer is to keep an open mind. If you’re only able to talk about political issues (or any question in life) with people who agree with you, then you don’t really have an appreciation for other peoples’ perspectives. Surrounding yourself with friends who echo your belief system while shutting out all others is a truly narcissistic act, because it’s not even about what your friends believe at that point. They become a mouthpiece to validate your own perspective, and build the ego that says the other side couldn’t possibly be right.

I’ll level with you guys, I’m not perfect. I’ve had ideological debates with countless numbers of people, and it took me until recently to realize that it’s really not worth the anger, the time, or the effort to try to argue to someone that their perspective is all wrong. I’ve learned that I’m simply not educated on enough of the world to really feel like I understand all of what’s going on, and that instead of clinging to a belief system, I should have honest discussion with people who can offer their own insights and add it to my own knowledge. Instead of debate being a hostile thing, it can be a learning experience. I often find that I sit down with people who I think are ideologically opposed to me, discuss both our perspectives in a civil way, and find that we really agree on much of the same things. What’s better is they might have a damn good counterpoint to a belief of mine, and it’s humbling to know that I would have been none the wiser if I had closed myself off to different perspectives. Don’t be afraid to learn something new.

So I challenge you, reader, to accept that you can never be right about everything, to recognize that everyone has an equally valid perspective. For every liberal who thinks Donald Trump is a nut that will destroy the country, there’s a conservative who would say the same thing about Hillary or Bernie. You can spend your year (or your life) arguing against each other viciously, calling each other names, and belittling the other’s intelligence for how they are going to vote, but is this really constructive? If you think a candidate is an idiot, why not send them an e-mail saying so instead of attacking their supporters?

Maya Angelou said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Do you really want to be remembered as a hothead who made people feel terrible for having a different understanding of the world, or do you want to be known as someone who makes people feel accepted for their perspective? I’m not saying that you have to change your mind with everyone who talks to you; I urge you to have instincts and to think for yourself. But, finding that balance between instinct and an open mind should be a daily practice. If you already know everything, then what’s the point?