I had been waiting for this day since Christmas, when my friend McKayla gave our group of friends cards detailing that our present from her would be tickets for "Captain America: Civil War" on opening day. We all screamed and hugged and began the months of planning that would lead us to spring, when McKayla would buy the tickets and announce that we would also be getting an exclusive comic book bundle. Weeks after that, the tell-tale day arrived, along with finals and white glove and my birthday.

We got to River Ridge Mall at 5:30 for the 9:50 show, promptly printing the pre-ordered tickets before window shopping and eating dinner. There was an added excitement to all these activities, as we looked at the merchandise that had our favorite superheroes splashed across everything from posters to dresses and ate agreeable food that would help us survive the three hours in line. Everywhere we looked there were fellow fans, half obviously supporting Iron Man and the other half supporting Captain America, with the odd Spider-Man and Black Widow t-shirt thrown into the mix. It felt like everyone was a potential best friend, depending on whose team they were on. We all felt connected, waiting for this shared experience that was surely one of the best birthday presents the universe could give me, even if it did involve waiting in line for three hours.

Let me be clear: we waited at the front of the line for three hours. As soon as the previous line cleared, we checked the posted time and discovered it to be 9:50. We immediately sat down in a circle that would only move for the odd trip for food and to reposition ourselves during lively games of Heads Up. Some would say sitting on a cold mall floor waiting for one movie is an uncomfortable waste of time, but I had more fun during those three hours than I’ve had doing entire lists of activities, so don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

At 9:30 they let us into the theater and we ran. The best seats in the theater were ours and as we settled amongst the hundreds of other dedicated, anxious fans, I felt like a member of a huge family. A huge, Marvel-obsessed family. The previews were a fun way to lead up to the main event and as the icy landscape appeared on the screen I leaned over and told my friend Kara I wasn’t ready. My first Marvel movie in theaters and I was in no way prepared for what everyone had discussed to be an emotionally disastrous storyline. She told me she wasn’t either, no one could be, and so I sat back and clutched the small Black Widow pendent I had been given mere hours before and watched the Winter Soldier get tortured.

The movie was phenomenal. There are no words to accurately describe the film, but if I had to squeeze it down into a series of letters I would choose phrases like ‘cinematic masterpiece,’ ‘absolute genius,’ and ‘the best Marvel movie ever made.’ The Russo brothers, who gave us the unbeatable pain and beauty of Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier, have outdone themselves. The development and destruction of the Avengers and the two heart wrenching teams of Captain America and Iron Man was incredibly fascinating to watch. Each character expresses their own logic when choosing sides, although emotions are a large part. The death of Peggy Carter and her advice to her great niece, Sharon, which is shared during her funeral, is what helps solidify Steve on his side. The death of an MIT grad in Sokovia that was caused by the Avengers solidifies Tony on his side. I was greatly pleased that they each had good reasons that everyone could respect. I had been worried Tony would be painted as a villain simply because of his difference.

War descends brutally when Bucky is suspected of bombing a UN meeting and Steve believes otherwise. The fighting scenes that are born from the revenge of Black Panther and the two sides attempting to defend themselves and what they each think is justice is some of the best fight sequences I have ever seen. The expertise each character distributes only adds to the emotional pain that they are tearing one another apart from the inside out with full weakness exploitation. It was during these scenes that I clung to McKayla’s hand and my Black Widow necklace with tight fists. The commercials that showed these scenes do not do the film justice. Civil War can only be truly appreciated when sitting on the edge of your seat in a crowded theater.

The real war begins when Steve and Bucky track the villain, Baron Zemo, to the icy outcrop shown in the beginning of the film and discover six other supersoldiers dead. They are joined shortly by Iron Man, who apologizes for his wrong accusation that Bucky caused the bombing. The hope that filled my heart as they finally talked about their differences instead of punching each other was soon shattered by Baron Zemo, who showed a short film that proved the Winter Soldier had killed Tony’s parents on a Hydra mission.

I will never forget the violence with which Iron Man and Captain America fought each other. Robert Downey Jr. and Chris Evans acting was emotional charged and incredibly moving. The anger and grief Tony obviously felt was portrayed with the raw actions only possible for such a great actor as RDJ. The trust and love Steve obviously has for Bucky is displayed in ferocity that took my breath away and that could only be done by someone as talented as Chris Evans. I was truly afraid for both of their lives as Bucky sat wounded in the corner.

The ending, though abrupt, was not as sad as I was expecting, as I was prepared for the death of at least four Avengers. Thankful that the Russo brothers had sparred them all, but also psychologically and emotionally traumatized, I left the theater excited for Infinity War, where we will see the Avengers assembled once more. Although we will see them again, there is no answer to the title of this article. How do you survive Civil War? The answer is that you don’t. You watch it and you feel every emotion that runs through your body before leaving with a weird mixture of exhaustion and excitement. You will probably lose sleep and write fanfiction, but you will not survive; you will change. You will never see these characters the same.