It’s no secret that technology has completely transformed our lives in the recent decades. In fact, it’s hard to imagine how my daily life would be today without it. Between text messages, Snapchats, social media updates and messages, emails, phone calls, video calls and games, we are living in a world where you don’t simply have one life, but rather two: in person and online. As if one wasn’t enough to handle already!
As years go on and we become less excited by this idea, people are starting to notice that all this technology might just be a bad thing. And, no this isn’t just parents or grandparents saying this about their kids. I’m beginning to think adults are actually the quiet perpetrators of this social spiral game — in addition to the younger generations, of course.
It’s almost as if we have reached the point where we have too much technology. At no other time have people had to worry about the problem of work-life integration (where no work day truly exists anymore, as most people are accessible via phone/computer from home). And no other generation of parents have had to worry about the demise of their children’s social skills.
So is there a way for us to cohabitate with the devices glued to our hips? Yes! In fact, inventors and engineers spent years of labor to create these devices with the idea that they should make our lives better! This is the key. When we start to use phones and computers the way they were designed for — to complement our lifestyles — the technological burden they bare will cease to exist. As we know, good things are meant to be used in moderation: sweets (my weakness), alcohol, luxuries, … and technology! So the day you learn how to use your phone(s) and computer(s) in moderation is the day you can proudly say you have achieved the perfect relationship with your life-long, always loyal partner … your device.
Say goodbye to push notifications.
Push notifications allow your phone/computer to alert you when that application has an update for you, be it Facebook, Twitter, NY Times or whatever has you constantly checking your phone. In theory, push notifications are awesome; they keep you up to date so you’re never skipping a beat. However, this accounts for much of the time you spend on your phone/computer. Phone “dinged” with a notification? Better check it out! Not anymore. By responding to these notifications immediately, you are guaranteeing yourself to be logging on over and over throughout the day. Instead, just check in once or twice throughout the day! Everything will still be there and you will not feel like you were a slave to your account.
Block off a time to check your email.
It’s amazing how often people will check their email throughout the day. I can say this, because I know I have been guilty of it myself. Checking email is the leading culprit of unproductive behavior throughout the work day — and the same can apply if you aren’t working! As previously mentioned, disable the push notifications and don’t check in every single chance you get. By blocking off a certain time to check and respond to your emails, you will have a greater focus when you go to read and respond. You also will be more present in the world around you when you aren’t wondering what’s floating in your inbox. The beautiful rule of thumb is response time to an email in today’s world is no later than 24 hours. No one should be expecting you to respond at that exact moment. Why waste your leisure time by stressing yourself over email? Be wary of relating free time as wasted, unproductive time — the two are not the same. By actively engaging in your down time by relaxing (hence the name), you are making a conscious effort to recharge yourself and increase productivity when it is time to get back at it.
Uninstall applications you only use as “time wasters.”
Did I miss some kind of meeting where the world got together to decide alone time was a bad thing? So many people have become uncomfortable being alone with themselves. Whether it be waiting at the doctor’s office, on your way to class, or even just having a meal/coffee alone. We feel this need to fill our alone time with some form of distraction on our phones or computers. The sad thing is, these moments are more important than you think. Use these times to think about what’s been on your mind, what is important to you and your beliefs, relax in a state of silence, or simply be. I find it surprising how many people’s most uncomfortable social situation is with themselves — the one person they should be most comfortable and in touch with. So remove those applications you open up simply to avoid yourself and instead, get to know the person you are or the person you are becoming.
Prioritize the people physically around you.
Another thing I recognize I too can be guilty of. It is so common today to make those around you wait while you to wrap up that text or email. Put the device down and engage with those there in real time with you. And the key word being engage. When you are having a conversation with someone, be present. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of thinking of something else or wanting the conversation to halt so you can go back to your device. The fact of the matter is these people are here in front of you, right here and right now. They should be given your priority, not those elsewhere. You will most likely find these conversations in front of you are more beneficial anyway! These are the conversations where you can talk and truly be heard, where you can delve into the topic, listen to others’ thoughts and react. These conversations are the ones that build relationships.
Put the device away.
The easiest way to feel in control of your social life is to simply put the phone or laptop down. Going out? Have your sound on in case of a call or emergency message, but besides that, allow yourself to fully engage in the experience by not having your attention elsewhere. Eating a meal with someone? Don’t make them feel like they are on the back burner or aren’t entertaining enough for you. Give them the attention they deserve! After all, they are spending their time with you above all else. And essentially, limit the time you spend on these devices. The easiest way to feel like you’re glued to them is, well, to be glued to them. If you want to feel like you have control over your phone or computer, rather than the other way around, make an effort to do so! The ball is in your court.
Use your devices to complement your life.
As mentioned, phones, computers, and all devices in general exist because they were designed to help improve our quality of life. We are very lucky to live in an era with such incredible technology. Use these inventions wisely, not wastefully. By limiting your use to essentials throughout the day — such as calls, texts, music, photos, calendars, documents, research, etc. — you are choosing to use your devices in a way that helps you, not haunts you. Now, it is still OK to utilize them for entertainment or social media, but with good-old moderation. This … this is how you regain control over the amount of time you spend on social media and this is how you work toward living a healthier and happier life.
We are currently living in the digital era, where information is accessible at our fingertips, where you can reach a person around the world in a matter of seconds, but also where the headline of Psychology Today reads “Ménage à Trois;” that is you, your partner and technology. But your life is nothing but your own! If you feel the technology in your life has started to take over, it is up to no one but yourself to regain that control. It’s all about finding the balance.
