Many people struggle with trusting others or being committed to people due to their fear of getting hurt. Not only does it harm an individual's current or future friendships and relationships, but getting hurt may also harm an individual's self esteem and self confidence. People may feel as if they are not good enough to receive kind treatment or acceptance, and that they have to constantly prove themselves to others or change themselves in order to be respected and loved. The truth is that someone else's opinion on an individual, which may result in the individual being hurt, should not dictate a person's lack of self esteem. These opinions are subjective, and independent belief in oneself should be the determinant of one's confidence and lack of fear for getting hurt. Here are some ideas to remember the next time one feels trampled by getting hurt from an individual, which may result in a severe lack of self confidence.
If you do not trust someone, or their opinion, there is no need to have negative emotions concerning how they feel towards you.
When we interact with certain people, there are emotions that we feel towards them. These emotions may be negative, positive, or indifferent. We may value these people's opinions strongly. But then there may be people who we dislike or do not trust. When we do not even trust these people, why must we trust their opinions or be concerned with their emotions towards us? In the case that we do actually value a person's opinion, why must we allow their opinions to change our own ways? In such circumstances, it is incredibly important to have self belief.
An opinion is just an opinion and someone else's opinion should not determine your own authority or self esteem.
Others' opinions of you are not necessarily the truth. You are not hurt because someone does not admire you; what creates hurt is the fact that you believe that an individual's judgement is more important than your own happiness and self esteem. No one deserves rejection, but people choose to reject. When someone rejects you or does not appreciate you, that is more of a reflection of who they are as a person and what their preferences are, than it is a reflection of your own character. For example, when a person tells you that you are not beautiful, that is not the truth. If you have blue eyes, but someone you love prefers an individual with brown eyes, that does not mean that you are unattractive, it just means that that person has a certain predilection. If you wish to change based on someone else's conception, think again. Change should not come from social expectations, but from your own desire to create that change as long as it does not deter your own happiness. Your motivation for change should come from a personal reflection, not from social standards. Thus, that rejection you get from an individual should not develop into an unrealistic willingness to change, or result in hurt, self hatred or feelings of remorse towards yourself or your actions.
In the case of trust, be willing to take the risk.
Although it is easy to get hurt by people, we must realize that trusting others may be beneficial to our own lives. It is important to not completely trust others because it may result in hurt. However, it is helpful to trust people just enough to benefit yourself without being too dependent on another human being. Remember that being remorseful about trusting someone you should not have does not make you foolish, it only helps you learn from your mistakes or filter through more individuals who do deserve your attention. Some of the most beautiful life experiences come from people you end up trusting. Do not be ashamed of feeling hurt, but do not allow that hurt to be too toxic or consistent in your life. Reflect upon yourself and trust your own opinion before that of others to avoid getting permanently hurt or emotionally damaged.
