To the girl who doesn’t understand why she’s being called crazy,

Nobody is overreacting. You’re Coo Coo for Cocoa puffs.

Have you ever met a girl and thought: wow, God left a screw loose in that one. Well, I have.

Nowadays, it’s impossible to tell a female that she’s off her rocker without being shamed for sexism. The second that a man says that a woman is certifiably whacko, he is blamed for her lunacy. There must have been something wrong with the man. He was probably rude and inconsiderate which triggered the woman’s harsh response. His behaviors were unacceptable. He needs to apologize.

I am going to stand up for all of the men out there and say that it’s okay to call a girl crazy if she is, in fact, loony.

Ladies, listen up. Here are the 10 ways to not be psycho.

1. If a guy does not respond to your text, he is NOT interested.

Don’t come up with excuses like “oh, he probably has a really busy week.” If a person has 90 seconds to sit on a toilet, then they have enough time to reply to your text in a day.

2. Stop dwelling.

There are plenty of fish in the sea. Once you move on from your sub-par Prince Charming, I guarantee you’ll be able to find another.

3. Do NOT memorize a person’s schedule.

It is not only very concerning that you know that this gentleman has club basketball practice on Tuesdays from 5 to 6 PM right after Bio Lecture, but also very, very bizarre.

4. Do not plan out your every move with the intent to “accidentally” bump into somebody.

Going out of your way to casually walk past the lecture hall that you know he just had class in in the hopes of bumping into him screams “RESTRAINING ORDER.”

5. Do not invite yourself to things.

If he did not invite you to dinner with his friends, then – this one is mind-boggling—you were not invited. Don’t take it upon yourself to invite yourself.

6. Take a damn hint.

When someone says “I’m tired,” they don’t want you to bring over some coffee, they want you to leave them alone.

7. Stop reading into everything.

Sometimes, a side-hug is just that, a side-hug.

8. There is a certain limit to Social Media stalking.

The fact that you know that this guy went to the Cayman Islands with his family in the 6^th grade is one thing. But stalking the girl who paid him on Venmo three years ago is straight psycho.

9. Build a Bridge

… and get over it. Nobody wants to hear about why you think that he is actually interested in you when it is clear that he is not.

10. For the love of God, do not pretend to butt dial him.

It is physically impossible to butt-dial someone with an iPhone. This will not capture his attention, this is just weird.