A loss is the hardest thing for us as humans to accept, whether it is the loss of a loved one, or even the loss of ourselves. When I say the loss of a loved one, I don’t just mean the passing on of someone, I also mean the loss of a loved one’s presence. When someone walks away from us in life, in a way it feels like they died. They just leave unexpectedly, often with little to no explanation. Not only do we lose them, but we also lose a part of ourselves along with them.
We would do almost anything to figure out how to bring them back to "life" but know deep down that it will never be what it once was. Many questions flood through our brains, What did I do wrong? How can they really be gone? How do I move forward? Time: "The indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole." We all know the definition of time, but never realize that it is the only true "medicine" to fix the worst ache of the human heart, loss.
After losing someone so prominent in our lives, we are lost for awhile and try to cope by indulging in unhealthy alternatives. Often we think that drunken nights, random hookups, and careless actions will fill the void that we feel, but in reality it just makes things worse. Why put our time and energy into things that only make us feel low in the long run? Because it is easy to numb the pain temporarily, but we need to focus healing the pain long term.
We need to indulge in more promising things, such as focusing on ourselves as individuals. Asking ourselves the questions:
What have I learned from this relationship?
How can I become better from this experience?
What do I want for myself in life?
We need to be selfish for a little while and just focus on ourselves and be the best version of who we truly are. It is so easy to be bitter after losing someone in our life, but let’s show them what they are missing out on. Let’s show them that they didn’t leave us broken, they made us stronger. By leaving they made us more independent, confident, and thankful for the lessons that they have taught us.
Comparable to a hangover, the night before it was the time of our life but the day after is the ultimate low. Cups of coffee, hot showers, and Advil are what we put our faith in but nothing washes away the pain of the hangover except for time for the body to heal itself again. Loss is the hangover of the heart, no matter what we try to fix the knot in our stomachs, the pain in our chests, or the water flowing from our eyes, nothing will take it away except for time. After we let time do its job we learn how to get back normal, cope with reality, and find ourselves again. So let’s not just pass the time, let’s make the most of the precious time we are given to truly make not only our hearts better, but also our minds.