Austin checking back in again, folks! You know, I don't consider myself a professional writer by any stretch of the imagination, (especially since I'm not paid for anything that I write) but it's something that I thoroughly enjoy doing because it allows me to articulate my thoughts in a way that's familiar to me, and easy for me to do. So, as is often the case with anyone who writes, I often end up with a case of writer's block. And while it does suck when it happens, and can make me feel like giving up, I sit there at my desk and I don't leave until I have SOMETHING on that paper. Or screen, in this case. Now, let's get moving along here.
The first thing you're gonna want to do is head over to the corner of your mind where you store all of those useless, insignificant, garbage thoughts that you most certainly do have and pick them over. You know, how many tiles you counted on the ceiling in class, the amount of times a ball bounced before it stopped totally...that kind of thing. Now, make no mistake-there very well could be a lot of dumb thoughts in there. I mean, the amount of tiles on a ceiling? Who's going to want to read about that? Not I. So, you're just using this idea as a sort of foundation for a greater picture, which brings us to the next step: Building 'Pon Thoughts.
Whoa! Are you as shocked as I am that I added a bit of random Jamaican Patois there for no apparent reason? I sure am! Oh, we have fun here. Anyway, "Building "Pon Thoughts" isn't nearly as difficult or stupid as the name would lead you to believe. All you need to do is take that stupid thought-the number of ceiling tiles, in this case-and connect it to a bigger idea. I'll create an example, as a point of reference. Let's see...ceiling tiles make me think of floor tiles, which make me think of regular tiles, which make me think of banks. Banks...BANKS! Looks like we're gonna have ourselves an intense heist thriller here, folks! So there we have it, an idea built from a smaller idea. We're going with bank robbery, alright? Agreed? Agreed.
Now that we've "Built 'Pon Thoughts", we can move along into the last step, which is creating a plot outline. A bit boring compared to the name of the previous step, but so it goes. Now, a good way to get a good plot outline going is to refer to the news. I Googled "Bank robbery" and this is what came up-
Hey! do you see what I see? Because I see an opportunity for a fantastic story in our midst!
Oh. Would you look at that? It would appear as if though the suspect in this particular story "...threatened to shoot everybody...". That's a bit violent for my taste, so I'll change it to...threatened to shoot teller with water gun". See? It's whimsical and fun! Denotes a sense of playfulness and good humor, which is the vibe I've just now decided I want this little masterpiece to have. Now, I'm going to apply all three steps mentioned above, and I'm going to check back in shortly.
*TIME ELAPSE OF 15 MINUTES*
Ok, folks! I'm back, and boy do I have good one for you today. This is called: John Broccoli: Vegetable Mobster, and I've got to say: I'm pretty proud of myself for this one! Ahem:
John Broccoli: The Vegetable Mobster
John Broccoli was an ordinary vegetable, only he had a penchant for robbing banks. Every few days or so, he'd hit up a bank and make a clean getaway every time, while netting a tidy profit. One fine day, he woke up and figured he felt particularly robb-ey, so he got out the gat and floored it to Well's Fargo. When he was there, he busted up the silence and fired a shot in the air. "Everyone on the floor, now! This is a brocco-ry! (Broccoli Robbery) Everyone froze. The teller emptied the contents of the vault into John's sack, and he warned her not to press the panic button. "If you get any wise ideas, you can be sure you'll be dealin' with the business end of my...WATER GUN?" John froze as he examined the blue, transparent plastic. Suddenly, he heard sirens. "Cheese it! It's-MELTED CHEESE?" (To be continued....)
Wow, that was pretty awful. I don't think I've ever written something so bad in my life. But you know what? It's something. Its an idea, and it's a starting point. It's somewhere to begin, and even if it's not the best story, it shows that even when you feel like you've got nothing to write about-it's there. You've just got to find it, and bring it to fruition.
