You know that thing you want so badly to happen? Ask yourself if it is more important than your mental health. You might be fighting and forcing too hard for something that is not actually present.
Some things do not need a meaning in order to be relevant in your life anymore. Sometimes when things end, a job, a relationship, a friendship, or an opportunity, does not mean to chase down the scenario attempting to figure it out once and for all.
There is a beautiful power in letting things play out for themselves and letting things breathe. Because you might wake up one day wondering where it all went after you decided to act under emotional influence that could have been held inside because you know it gives you strength.
Some things can end up harming you by entering back into your mind, daily or weekly, until the months go by and you suddenly realize that your past does not define you anymore, and that you believe deep down that you are capable of better things.
Things you have known all along but are choosing to surface now solely because you are becoming strong again. Things that keep you alive simply by trusting the fact that you will make the right decision.
It is important to follow your heart, no matter the situation. Your heart never guided you wrong, you were just blinded by things you had no control over, nor were you experienced enough to deal with them properly and that is apart of life.
The part that is inevitable and that must be accepted, because if you don't...well...you could wake up in the middle of the night seven years later still wondering what went wrong. When you have unconsciously wasted those seven years trying to "figure it all out," when you could have been making new experiences to "define," and maybe make your past seem a whole lot bearable. In which it will because you are not the person you define yourself to be. You are better than the projection of who you think you should be. You are better than your dreams, your past, and your unmanageable present. You are the future.
And guess what the best part is? You get to control every aspect of this journey. Whether you decide to drink a cup of coffee after reading this, or to sign up for a sky diving class.
That's the trick, you contain the key in your finger tips and the capability to unlock Narnia, and the permission from only yourself. Let go before you get too caught up and forget what you are fighting for. Know what you stand behind and your knowledge behind your strength. Listen to what your heart and mind tell you when the silence appears.