I have always considered myself a people person, and I still do. When I am upset, I find comfort in surrounding myself with good friends or my family and think the best way to heal—at least to me—is to talk to others. I think it is therapeutic to trust someone enough to tell them about all of your feelings. The problem was, before college, I used to do that all too often and with the wrong people.
This resulted in putting a lot of faith and trust into people who didn’t deserve it. I gave them the benefit of the doubt more times than necessary, I made excuses for behaviors that were detrimental towards me, and, worst of all, I began to believe every bad thing that was said about me.
This did nothing good for my ability to trust others, which is not always the easiest way to be in the middle of freshman year at college. For a long time, I found it difficult to open up to others and whenever I did I was convinced that they thought I was lying and exaggerating, or that I was pathetic. If people were nice to me or showed genuine feelings of consideration and kindness towards me, I doubted them, internally questioned their motives, and analyzed the things they said, looking for any trace of hostility. Never in my life had I experienced anything like it and, for a while, I thought there was no hope in escaping from my mind, which did nothing but torment me with fears of being completely alone.
The popular saying goes “This too shall pass” and these insecurities and doubts that plagued my mind slowly did dwindle. I started putting myself out there more, doing the things I love like singing and theatre, I found new friends and started fresh with a new foundation that made (and still makes me) feel whole again.
Regardless, I am not the same person that I was. I am more selective with who I trust with my private thoughts, I avoid indulging others with details of my personal life, but more importantly, I try my best to not let the opinions of others affect my confidence. While it might be good to listen to a few criticisms if they end up making you a better person, no one should ever feel like they have to mold themselves into the kind of person someone else wants you to be.
To anyone who is struggling with trust issues, it is okay not to trust every single person. It is okay if you are selective about who you talk to and it is okay if you don’t feel comfortable around everyone. However, this does not mean that everyone is out to get you. There are people who care, and while it might seem impossible to find these people, it is worth it when you do. The people who love you the most will never make you feel small. They will accept you for who you are, no questions asked.
To anyone with trust issues, it is understandable to feel uneasy, but you should never feel the need to isolate yourself in order to avoid those who might want to push you down. It only prevents you from meeting those who want to pull you back up.
