Did you know that the value of a virtuous woman is explained, outlined, and detailed as such:

“She is more precious than rubies, And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her?” Proverbs 3:15 NKJV

“Where,” you ask “is this leading?” Well, time is of the essence and there is a great need for each of us to have a serious conversation with ourselves. That’s right between you and the inner you. We must begin to examine by questioning why we make the same mistakes as it relates to relationships. Disclaimer: for the record, I am not an authority. However, what I am, is an adult female who has decided to hold myself accountable for who I allow into my space. Refusing any forms of mistreatment, I meditate on Proverbs 3:15. I am determined to love me.

It is important for us to understand the meaning of our value / our worth. The time is at hand for us to understand exactly who we are. Know your worth, accept and embrace your value. We must stop allowing anyone and everyone whose actions are in direct or indirect conflict to what we know to be true: we are “more precious than rubies.” All behavior that disrespects, devalues, degrades or disregards the word of God is something we must eliminate from our area of influence.

Yes, in some cases we accept this behavior. And, I can speak on it because this once was me. There are signs that we ignore.The closest definition I can compare this too is the legal term: Willful blindness. US Legal defines:

“willful blindness as “a term used in criminal law to refer to the acts of a person who intentionally fails to be informed about matters that would make the person criminally liable. lt describes an attempt to avoid civil or criminal liability for a wrongful act by intentionally putting oneself in a position to be unaware of facts which create liability. For example, wilful blindness has been used to deny the lack of intent defense of drug smugglers who claimed lack of knowledge of drug packages' contents.”

I make this comparison because our sanity is just as serious. Making excuses for bad behavior and mistreatment is acceptance. We willingly allow the continuance of wrongdoing. A change is required. Understand your value.

What we can do: Wait!

The wait equals preparation. Are we prepared for what we are praying for? In a majority of the situations, that answer is no. The best example is found in a parable taught by Jesus. Here, he warns of the importance of preparation for the Kingdom of Heaven. And in my opinion is also applicable here. The parable explains the actions of 10 virgins. Five were wise and prepared. But, five were foolish and did not prepare. Read below:

“At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom.Five of them were foolish and five were wise.The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them.The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps.The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep. At midnight the cry rang out: ‘Here’s the bridegroom! Come out to meet him! Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out. No, they replied, there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves. But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut. Later the others also came. ‘Lord, Lord,’ they said, ‘open the door for us! But he replied, Truly I tell you, I don’t know you.Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.” Matthew 25: 1-13 NIV

We must prepare for all things. To be a wife, not a girlfriend, mistress, etc. Again, understand your value. Certain behaviors must cease. Taking not of our own actions and working to stop any or all of the following:

“The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions.” Galatians 5:19-20 NIV.

Our goal: operate in the fruit of the spirit which is defined as:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Galatians 5:22-23 NIV

Stay inside the will of God

We worry about the wrong things and miss out daily on the beauty that surrounds. Beauty is right before our eyes. Ask yourself: Am I prepared? Do I make efforts to share salvation, study scriptures, read the word, and pray? Am I learning new and useful tools to advance my craft? Am I an asset or a liability?

Another one of my favorite parables taught by Jesus is a lesson regarding worrying about the future. It applies here.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:25-34 NIV

I plan for the future. However, I am no longer obsessed with things that are outside of my control. Most importantly, I understand God provides.

Unconscious Behaviors: Are you good to yourself?

We all experience heartbreak and pain. However, we must be careful and make time during our healing process to love and nurture our mind, body and soul. Two things will either strengthen or destroy emotionally. Those two things are:

1. Actions: the things we do. Never jump head first into another relationship out of spite. Get to know and love you. Ask yourself: why is it that I cannot be alone? Spend time with you.

2. Words: the things we say to ourselves. What are you saying to yourself? Always use positive, encouraging, and loving words when you talk or think of you.

Final Thoughts:

If you are searching for a husband: Stop. If you are not a wife; but, fulfilling the responsibilities of a wife: Stop! Here's why:

1. He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22 NIV
2. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”Ephesians 5:25 NIV