A few hours ago, a couple friends and I went to the movie theater to watch "How To Be Single" starring Rebel Wilson and Dakota Johnson. Of course, I knew this movie would be funny and light-hearted, but there's something this movie addresses that makes it so much more than just a 'Chick Flick' to me.
Basically, the movie is about a woman who has recently graduated from college and left a long-term relationship, who moves to New York City. She's never been alone, and single, before. Throughout the movie, she has to learn how to make a life for herself that is independent of a significant other, and focus on her needs before anyone else's. I know, I know. It sounds totally cheesy, and mostly it was. But, it was also empowering.
I'm single. Kind of perpetually single, actually. I consider myself a hopeless romantic stuck in a hookup culture, and the whole 'relationship' thing never seems to work out in my favor. Sad thing is, I think about this way more often than I should. I think about finding my soulmate and getting married, but mostly I just worry I'll be single forever. Seriously, like full on cat lady. It's been on my mind a lot lately, as more and more of my friends become engaged or married, and start having babies. While I'm super happy for them, I also can't help but wonder what I'm doing wrong.
I see love stories in every movie and TV show, and every popular song. I watch these ridiculous romantic comedies, where boy meets girl, then they fall in love, and live happily ever after. Every. single. time. We're so instilled with this idea that true love is what makes you complete, that we forget that it's okay to just be by yourself. To just do you. To not think about the guy two seats down, and whether he's looking at you. To not start planning your wedding on Pinterest (oops.)
I think it's time to start asking "Do I like me?" instead of "Does she/he like me?" There's this line in the movie where the main character says that she gets so carried away with thinking about relationships, that she forgets who she is. She forgets what makes her happy, and what makes her unique, beyond romance/love/sex. It was at this point, I realized that she was describing something I do too.
Living life to the fullest, being truly independent and at peace with who you are, that's something to strive for. This doesn't mean that I'm forgetting my love for love, and my hopes for a relationship, but maybe this doesn't have to happen right now. I'm a complete person. And, maybe, once I figure out who I am, everything else will fall into place.
