Each person is unique and is faced with challenges unique to them. Many face chronic illnesses, mental disorders, body image issues and the loss of loved ones during this time of year when we are all told be be celebratory and joyous. Some of things in this season can wind up unintentionally harming those we love. In order to be a little more mindful of those who might not be as joyous or as excited as you are, please keep the following things in mind.
1. Everyone celebrates differently.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to celebrate the season with your family, but be considerate of everyone involved because people have different circumstances and behaviors they deal with. Many autistic individuals have trouble with strangers or crowds so they wouldn't be as up to going out shopping and having a large party to attend. People with anxiety disorders have certain things that can trigger panic attacks or flashbacks, so many activities involving loud noises or large crowds may not be an option for them. People with chronic illnesses have specialized diets and a limited set of things they can do so they may be more cautious or seem reclusive this time of year. There are people who celebrate privately or don't want to celebrate because they are missing family members or loved ones, and it isn't the same anymore. Be mindful that others may be struggling this time of year.
2. There is no wrong way to celebrate.
Even if someone you know doesn't celebrate the way you do, that doesn't mean they are doing it inherently wrong. People adapt to the lives they are given and the things they have to live with, and this means they adapt their holiday traditions and celebrations to fit those. The loss of someone close may have changed the meaning of the holiday decorations for those who are grieving. Your friend may not want to come to the huge Christmas parties you go to every year, or they may not go out to shop with the bustling crowds. That's okay. You have learned to celebrate this time of year from your family and what you like to do. They have done the same, and, since are not the same person, each holiday celebration is a unique experience. People do not need to experience your individual holiday to know what this season is all about. Let each person celebrate how they have come to know how or how they have come to be able to.
3. Gifts can be hard for some people.
Your favorite part of the season may be gifts, but that isn't true for every person. Anxiety disorders can make it hard on those around when it comes to gifts because of the attention and pressure behind someone spending time getting a specialized present for a specific person. A person on the autism spectrum may not be capable of making the decisions necessary to buy, open or process receiving gifts. Countless people with body issues may not be as receptive to getting clothes as you might be. The act of opening a present can even be a hard thing for some as it requires fine motor skills that those with muscle, developmental or skeletal issues may not be able to perform. Before buying gifts or setting expectations for the presents you are to receive, take a moment to think about any circumstances that need to be accounted for in the lives of others.
4. Treat everyone (and I mean everyone) the way you would want to be treated.
Just because someone has something that makes it harder for them during the holidays does not mean they want to be treated like glass or left out entirely. If you know someone going through the loss of someone close, don't force them to celebrate if they don't think they can, but help them to do what they think they can handle. If someone is uncomfortable with crowds or can't physically handle them, do something with them that they can do. If you always get everyone pajamas for the holidays every year, but your friend has body issues, you can ask them what to do instead. If someone can't eat the certain, popular holiday foods, make sure to include them with things they can eat and will enjoy. If you were in their shoes, you would be devastated to be left out or made to feel fragile during the holiday season. Even if someone has a disease or disorder that impacts them, they are just as human and just as deserving this holiday season as you are. Don't forget about your friends and family who are suffering and celebrating a little different this year.
This season should be wonderful for all of us, not just those who are "immersed in the spirit." Think of those in your life who are struggling this time of year, and be sure to pay them mind before you could unintentionally hurt them. We are all deserving of holiday joy, but spread it with care and not ignorance.
