How To Appreciate Your Man

How To Appreciate Your Man

Top 5 Secrets for Making Your Man Feel Loved
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I got one of those questions the other day that made me think, "well that's a blog post if I've ever seen one." The long and short of it was that the original poster wanted to know ways that she could show her man that she appreciated him. I said to myself, "self, exactly how could a woman show her man that she appreciated him?"

The more I started to think about this the more difficult it became. And do you know why?

Glad you asked.

Well, its because I think in general, women constantly show their men how much they appreciate us. If there's a gender dropping the ball in the appreciation arena, its men, not women. Women tend to compromise more, always consider us in their decisions, and want us to be happy at all times. Not that men don't want their women to be happy, we just would rather her happiness didn't come at our expense. Are we selfish? Probably. We're also raised to be selfish about life. It's a vicious cycle.

Anyway, so I got to thinking about specifics. Assuming that regular life is taking place and both people show one another that they care and appreciate them via regular life activities like spending time and saying things that need to be said, etc, how else might this occur?

Here's my stab at this list.







1. Telling him to go out and have a night with his boys on occasion

I don't mean the scheduled 2-hour break many of us get on a Saturday to go hang with our friends and play basketball or something. I mean, just one day, out of the blue, just tell your man that he should go and take a personal day and have fun. Go do whatever you want and come home when you want. No pressure and no worries. We'll probably think this is a set up (face it, 7 times out of 10 it IS a setup), but he'll appreciate that you realized he needed a "break" at times.

2. Buy him something that he actually wants instead of something you want him to have

Not saying that this is always the case, or the case the majority of the time, but I know I've been the recipient of more than one gift that I either couldn't use or couldn't understand why I was receiving it. Of course I took it and said thank you, but it went in the pile with the Snuggies and Extra Medium Banana Republic sweaters. If I say I'd like something like a new toolbox and you get me a toolbox, I'll be ecstatic. Just like women love when men listen, men do too. We appreciate that and will feel appreciated. Because you heard me.

3. Help him with something that he really needs help with

You know how we know that you love or appreciate us? By being there for us when we truly need somebody to be there. Now, this seems like its in women's nature to do this anyway so perhaps this goes in the "just do what you'd normally do" pile, but its true. Men need respect and loyalty. We're like dogs in that regard. You give us that and we'll likely stick around for the long haul anyway. But we do appreciate that and trust me, it doesn't go unnoticed.

4. Tell him

Sounds easy enough but it really isn't. A lot of people have trouble articulating to somebody why they appreciate them. It's easy to say "I love you" (well, kind of), but its harder to say why you love somebody or why you appreciate what they bring to your life because it requires self-awareness. So telling him will allow him the space to understand why you appreciate him and he'll probably cook you a meal. We work really well with words of affirmation.

5. Just do something nice to make him feel special

Another one of those things that truly just goes both ways, male or female. In fact, showing appreciation really is the same across the board. It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, the best way to show appreciation is to just do it. Let them know, or do something nice for them to show that you care and are listening to their needs. Everybody wins that way.

And an angel probably gets its wings.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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4 Basic Rules You Need To Know While 'Dating' More Than One Person

Dating: the stage where you are talking and testing out the waters with someone else.

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Here is the thing about dating: you're not married, nor are you boyfriend and girlfriend.

Dating is when you're just testing out the water with a few people until you decide who you're going in a relationship with.

Dating happens when you're interested in a person and vice versa. It's when you find them attractive, so now you have to figure out the personality. To be "in a relationship" would mean to be boyfriend and girlfriend.

Here are some of the basic guidelines about dating that everyone should know:

1. You can date multiple people.

You're not in a committed relationship with anyone. You're going out with this man to see if this relationship will become a relationship, and you're allowed to date multiple people to see which one is the best one for you.

You're checking out the fishes in the sea and checking which shoe fits better. It's like being a bachelor or bachelorette. Honey, during the dating phase, you can do whatever you want.

Although, I should tell you not everyone is going to appreciate you dating other people, but who are they to stop you from your one true love? The proper way to go about this is letting the people you are 'dating' know that you are seeing other people until one of the relationships gets serious.

Side note: a real man will respect the honesty and understand. Time is ticking and doesn't wait for anyone.

2. If you're going on the fifth date with the same date, it's time to upgrade.

So, what I mean by this is that if you're on your fifth date, either end the date and begin a relationship, or move on to other people.

If by the fifth date, you're not feeling something unexpectedly particularly special with this person and if you're not clicking with them, then it's time to move onto other fishes, hun. And if you are but you're scared to commit, then admit to the person that you have a commitment issue. And that's fine, but let them know so they're not hanging on for no reason.

3. Dating does not mean one-night stands.

Now, if you're looking for a one-night stand, then dating is NOT what you're looking for. I'm sure some one-night stands can always turn into relationships, but sex always makes things complicated. So, next.

4. No sex during dating!

Like I said before, sex makes things complicated and it results in several test results and concerns.

If you're dating, you're there to see if the person is good enough so that you can be in a relationship with them and maybe then have sex. You naughty people. But I won't stop you.

If by all means, sex is one of the top things you need to have a healthy relationship, then by all means, I support you 100%. But ma'am, if he's having sex with you on the first night, imagine who else he's done on the first night. Think hard.

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