How To Appreciate Your Man

How To Appreciate Your Man

Top 5 Secrets for Making Your Man Feel Loved
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I got one of those questions the other day that made me think, "well that's a blog post if I've ever seen one." The long and short of it was that the original poster wanted to know ways that she could show her man that she appreciated him. I said to myself, "self, exactly how could a woman show her man that she appreciated him?"

The more I started to think about this the more difficult it became. And do you know why?

Glad you asked.

Well, its because I think in general, women constantly show their men how much they appreciate us. If there's a gender dropping the ball in the appreciation arena, its men, not women. Women tend to compromise more, always consider us in their decisions, and want us to be happy at all times. Not that men don't want their women to be happy, we just would rather her happiness didn't come at our expense. Are we selfish? Probably. We're also raised to be selfish about life. It's a vicious cycle.

Anyway, so I got to thinking about specifics. Assuming that regular life is taking place and both people show one another that they care and appreciate them via regular life activities like spending time and saying things that need to be said, etc, how else might this occur?

Here's my stab at this list.







1. Telling him to go out and have a night with his boys on occasion

I don't mean the scheduled 2-hour break many of us get on a Saturday to go hang with our friends and play basketball or something. I mean, just one day, out of the blue, just tell your man that he should go and take a personal day and have fun. Go do whatever you want and come home when you want. No pressure and no worries. We'll probably think this is a set up (face it, 7 times out of 10 it IS a setup), but he'll appreciate that you realized he needed a "break" at times.

2. Buy him something that he actually wants instead of something you want him to have

Not saying that this is always the case, or the case the majority of the time, but I know I've been the recipient of more than one gift that I either couldn't use or couldn't understand why I was receiving it. Of course I took it and said thank you, but it went in the pile with the Snuggies and Extra Medium Banana Republic sweaters. If I say I'd like something like a new toolbox and you get me a toolbox, I'll be ecstatic. Just like women love when men listen, men do too. We appreciate that and will feel appreciated. Because you heard me.

3. Help him with something that he really needs help with

You know how we know that you love or appreciate us? By being there for us when we truly need somebody to be there. Now, this seems like its in women's nature to do this anyway so perhaps this goes in the "just do what you'd normally do" pile, but its true. Men need respect and loyalty. We're like dogs in that regard. You give us that and we'll likely stick around for the long haul anyway. But we do appreciate that and trust me, it doesn't go unnoticed.

4. Tell him

Sounds easy enough but it really isn't. A lot of people have trouble articulating to somebody why they appreciate them. It's easy to say "I love you" (well, kind of), but its harder to say why you love somebody or why you appreciate what they bring to your life because it requires self-awareness. So telling him will allow him the space to understand why you appreciate him and he'll probably cook you a meal. We work really well with words of affirmation.

5. Just do something nice to make him feel special

Another one of those things that truly just goes both ways, male or female. In fact, showing appreciation really is the same across the board. It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, the best way to show appreciation is to just do it. Let them know, or do something nice for them to show that you care and are listening to their needs. Everybody wins that way.

And an angel probably gets its wings.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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Plan These 13 Dates For Your Girlfriend This Fall And Thank Me Later

Listen up, guys.

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If you are a boy and you are reading this, plan one of these dates and you'll make your girlfriend the happiest person alive. Yeah, you can thank me later.

1. Go to a pumpkin patch.

This may be super basic but who doesn't want a cute little pumpkin around Halloween time. Usually, you will take a hayride to the pumpkin patch which is always a nice time to spend together. It will also be really cute seeing how excited she gets over finding the perfect little pumpkin.

2. Go on a hayride.

If you go to a pumpkin patch you may have the opportunity to go on a hayride and you definitely should! You will get to see all around the farm and the scenery is usually beautiful in the fall with the leaves changing colors!

3. Go apple picking.

This date will always allow for a cute photo shoot opportunity and everyone will be able to see your Insta post later captioned "the apple of my eye." Also, if you love apples what better place to get them then a local farm where you pick them yourself! Make sure you check your local farm to see when your favorite apples will be ready for harvest!

4. Bake something together.

There are so many amazing recipes for fall, apple pie being one of them. Which will be the perfect thing to bake with your S.O. after apple picking (two dates in one)!

5. Go to a local festival.

No matter where you are from there are probably a ton of local festivals around you throughout the fall. Whether it is a food festival, fall fest, music festival or even a lantern festival all of them are usually a perfect date. You can experience new things together and enjoy the fall weather.

6. Go to a football game.

Whether it is high school, college, or a professional football game any football is good football in the fall. Between a fun tailgate and an exciting game, if you are into sports football is the way to go.

7. Walk or hike around a state park.

No matter where you are from there are always state parks around you! Fall is the perfect time to go on an outdoor because it's not too hot to too cold. The scenery is always beautiful with all of the leaves changing colors. If there is a lake you could always go kayaking or paddle boating!

8. Visit your local farm.

A lot of local farms have fresh veggies, apples, baked goods and of course pumpkins! Also, check and see if your local farm has any fall family days. On those days they usually have a lot of fun activities, animals, hayrides, corn mazes, pumpkins and if you're lucky they'll have amazing apple cider donuts!

9. Stay in for a cozy movie day.

With Freeform starting their 31 days of Halloween this leads to the perfect excuse for a night on the couch. Pick out your favorite Halloween movie, make some popcorn and have some warm apple cider while cuddling up on the couch.

10. Visit a haunted house.

If you are down for something a little scarier then a Halloween movie, check out a haunted house near yours. It could even be a haunted hayride or haunted corn maze.

11. Take her out to breakfast.

Girls are always down for a cute breakfast date. Especially when you can roll out of beds in your sweats and keep them on in the cozy fall weather.

12. Spend a night carving pumpkins.

Once Halloween rolls around you should grab a cheap carving supplies kit, roll up your sleeves, and carve a cute pumpkin together. Whether you write your initials or create a jack-o-lantern it will probably be full of fun memories of pulling out pumpkin guts.

13. Go to a Halloween party.

Take some time and hit up Pinterest for a super cute couples costume and eat all the candy you possibly can!

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You Can Never Go Back To Who You Were Before You Were Cheated On

A slideshow of what they did, what it must have looked like, begins to play on loop behind your eyes.

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Immediately, the thought of it becomes unbearable. It constricts the brain, depriving it of oxygenated happiness until slowly your joyful loving memories begin to blackout in your head. That's when it begins. Like the lights dimming in a theater, once all else fades, a slideshow of what they did, what it must have looked like, begins to play on loop behind your eyes. Every bite of the lower lip, every euphorically strained facial expression, every second of decadent ecstasy.

As other thoughts begin to seep back in and the lights go back up, every scene ignites like gunpowder in the back of your skull. It isn't just sadness anymore, it's pain that burns your mind and radiates through every nerve in your fragile body. The smoke clears and you can think about other things again, but the inferno has left the ashes imprinted on the inside of your eyelids. Every time you close your eyes, you see it all again.

Of course, you didn't actually see any of it. It's all just what your psyche, in the fragile state it's in, imagines it to have been like. You would think that helps, not actually having seen it, but it doesn't. It doesn't give you the certainty of fact, the assurance of exactly how it happened as observed. No, now since you're left to recreate the scenes in your mind, the ash impressions on your eyelids are exaggerated. You assume that every single thing that could have happened to make it worse, did. You fill in spaces unnecessarily, adding dreadful detail that may or may not be correct (though you are convinced it is) everywhere you can.

It's only a matter of time before you start examining and over-examining every single detail of both your relationship and what happened.

Were they willing to do this to you the whole time you were dating? Remember that day early on? When you drove through the October mist, windows down and music blaring as you both screamed the lyrics to your favorite songs through the cool damp night?

That first time you said those dreaded three words once the beat faded and you pulled up to the house just giggling and smiling at each other, then you kissed under the stars? Did that mean anything to them at all? Did they really love you back then? Do they love you now? They keep saying they do.

How could they love you? How could anyone? You're unlovable. You're not good enough, you will never be enough for them. That's why they did what they did. At least, that's what you keep telling yourself. It's what keeps ringing through your ears in the recreated tone of their voice. Even as the months pass or sometimes even years, the words will still reverberate off the prison cell bars of your skull.

You'll only be convinced of it more and more as time passes and you find yourself still single. Your confidence after what happened will be nothing more than the gum stuck to the bottom of their shoe, constantly getting crushed again and again by their full weight. You'll become convinced that nobody will ever love you again, that you have nothing to love, that nobody would ever conceivably want to be in a relationship with you ever again.

And then someone does. They're sweet, they're caring, and most importantly, they make you happy. Things progress just as they normally would, only with one difference. You still bare the scar of being cheated on. You'll find yourself, early on at least, questioning if this new person in your life really means what they say and if you can trust them. You'll start drawing comparisons between their words and actions and that of your former partner. You'll find it hard to trust again. You'll find it hard to love again.

Now, everything I've written so far may not be certain. Of course, this sort of thing varies from person to person and no one account of being cheated on is true to the experiences of everyone that has ever been cheated on. This next part though, this is the only part that I can say with near absolute certainty, will happen eventually for anyone who has gone through having a partner cheat on them:

This new person will prove your fears to be wrong. They will love you, and you will allow yourself to love them. They will be trustworthy, they will be respectful, and the last thing that they would ever want to do is hurt you. Their affection will cleanse the ash marks on the back of your eyelids and mute the hissing voice in your head. In due time, they will make the pain of your last heartbreak disappear, until one day it all just becomes like a distant nightmare to you. One that they have woken you up from.

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